When you know webloyalty, you know it

There is webloyalty and then there is webloyalty. Do you know what it is? You'll know after reading this.

It is something awesome that generates new revenues for its clients. But how? By rewarding its customers who make purchases! And it totally prides itself on the impressive returns it gains for its totally awesome clients. Not to mention the absolutely unmatched service that they offer their awesome customers.

Pretty cool stuff if you are into making money. And they've been around for a while. They were founded in 1999. And since then, they have become a leader in online marketing services companies. They provide customized programs to e-commerce, travel, and other fee-based businesses.

They do this in a number of ways. They have a range of innovative products that really do help their clients increase their revenues. Not to mention the valuable benefits packages on top of this.

They have over 2 million subscriber today and they all enjoy savings. This is probably because of their new model of customer-friendly subscription services. They have over 300 employees in their Norwalk, CT headquarters, and San Francisco offices. It's like the movie, they literally have that many people in their army. Good stuff. And their revenues have reached $143.9 million (in 2006). And by the way, that was 33 percent up from 2005! They have had 16 consecutive...that's CONSECUTIVE quarters of operating profitability. Combine that with a 37 percent compound annual growth rate over the past 3 years, and you've got a recipe for awesome, mister!

Did I mention that they acquired General Atlantic LLC recently as well? What are they? A leading global private equity firm that provides capital for growth companies driven by information technology OR intellectual property. Since 1980 they have $10 billion, roughly, in capital under management, man! The firm has invested in over 150 companies, has current holdings in approximately 50 companies, including almost half based outside the United States, and is completely brilliant. Man, joe, if that ain't a cool story about webloyalty, I don't know what is. Stay cool this winter my chill bros.

The Fan Club is the place to be for stuff!

Angelina Jolie’s head peers out from luminous, turquoise water in a dark cavern littered with decaying bodies and skeletons.

She is moving slowly toward her prey. Trailing Jolie is a long, thin, twisting gold tail.

“I love my tail,” Jolie laughs during an interview in Los Angeles recently. The water scene is the first time audiences of her new, ground-breaking digitally-enhanced live action film, Beowulf, see Jolie’s face.

The other lead actors in Beowulf, Anthony Hopkins, Ray Winstone, John Malkovich and Robin Wright Penn, are not so easily recognisable, thanks to new generation motion capture technology Beowulf director Robert Zemeckis used to make the film.

You know what else? Everything is cool, man. Everything is cool, brah.

New information about Paris

After I just confirmed that Britney Spears isn’t pregnant, I find out Paris Hilton is still hell-bent on putting a bun in her oven. C’mon! It seems Paris has babies on the brain again after hosting a baby shower for Nicole Richie last weekend, according to People:

"Nicole and I have been playing together since we were two years old," she told PEOPLE at the Nissan Live Sets One Year Anniversary Party. "I was just telling her, 'I want a baby so that our babies can play together.'"

You ever see one of those vans that animal shelters drive around and spay and neuter your pet for you? How do I modify one of those to work on humans? I kind of need an answer ASAP. Time is a factor. Oh, and also, what are the odds of getting a wet bar on that puppy? No, not the van. An actual puppy. I’ve always thought it’d be cool to have a dog with more than just one of those little barrels around his neck. Picture a Labrador, but with a margarita mixer instead of a tail.

Lapband surgery (not a musical group)

You considering Tampa lapband surgery? You may want to, if not.

There is a rapidly expanding network of specialized surgical facilities, and it's called Journey Lite. Journey Lite is a highly skilled and experienced bariatric surgeons, and team of healthcare professionals. What do they do? They are dedicated to providing the safest and least invasive surgical weight-loss solution...not to mention the absolute most comprehensive support programs that you can find today, in present day!

They are a great company, and they specialize in some stuff. What is it, you ask? Well, for starters, they specialize in Laparoscopic Adjustable Gastric Banding. Or, for short, LAGB...or, for short again, LAP-BAND® System procedure. But what is it? What do they do? Well, your surgeon simply inserts an inflatable, adjustable gastric band through small incisions in your body, and then simply positions the band around the upper part of your stomach!

But what does this do? Well, do you want to lose weight...? Because that's what this does. It creates a small pouch in your stomach, and that passageway into the lower part. It will make you feel full of food..when you have actually eaten less...so you will lose weight...almost naturally! And the procedure offers a number of pros over different options. It is the least invasive weight-loss surgery available. It is adjustable and, if the need should arise, completely reversible. Isn't that awesome? I know--I thought so too. But, listen to the best part: This radical LAP-BAND doesn’t require cutting, stapling or rerouting of the stomach or intestines! None at all! So there is a lower risk with the surgery AND long term complications. And this can be done in a day, folks.

The surgeons at Journey Lite are seriously some of the most experienced in the entire nation and their facilities are specially designed and equipped to meet the specific needs of the seriously, seriously overweight patient! You will be safe.

The staff there will provide for you as a patient. You will get the care you need, in the safest environment. Check them out today. They are second to none.

Britney update

Lawyers for Kevin Federline have portrayed Britney Spears as an unfit mother for months, and after she ran a red light on video while sending a text message with her kids and court appointed monitor in the car last week, a judge has now ordered that she may no longer drive with her kids in the car. People.com says:

The sealed order came after a 90-minute hearing with lawyers for Spears and ex-husband Kevin Federline.
Attorneys declined comment on the reported ruling after the hearing.
"Orders were made. ... I can't discuss the content of those orders," says Federline's lawyer Mark Vincent Kaplan. "Documents have not been released by the court, and I don't know if they will be. The matter will be continued at a future date."

How does this daffy bitch have a license to begin with? I wouldn't allow her to ride a turtle to go check the mail, much less that half million dollar V12 racecar she has.

This guy played Elvis once

Jonathan Rhys Meyers was arrested in Dublin yesterday for public drunkenness and breach of the peace after he was refused entry on a flight bound for London. The BBC says:

The 30-year-old was released on bail and is due to appear before Dublin District Court on 5 December.
In April, Irish-born Meyers was admitted to a Californian rehab clinic but checked out the following month.
Speaking to news agency The Associated Press last year, the actor said he found it hard to socialise in Ireland because of its hard-drinking pub culture.
"I gave up drinking a few years ago, and this is the first time I've spent time in my country trying not to drink," he said.
"I would never drink again. It is hard to avoid. I want my career, and you can't really do that and be successful on the screen.

This just goes to show that you cant judge a book by it's cover. I thought he was coked out of his mind all the time, but it turns out he was drunk AND high. I feel kinda silly. Still, if you're Jonathon Rhys Meyers' Secret Santa this year, I think 50 pounds of cocaine would be a nice gift, becuase he seems to be fresh out.

Credit Cards...the search of

If you are interested in such information as Balance Transfer Cards, read on.

Have you heard about it? One of the Internet's absolute longest tenured sites for online credit card comparison is CreditCardSearchEngine.com. They are awesome. Do you know what they do? Why, they only allow consumers, business and students to do things like search, compare, and apply for all types of credit card offers. Oh, is that all, you say? And these searches include everything from low interest and reward card to cards for people with bad up to average credit. It's a pretty good service if you ask me--one that needs to be advertised and have it's word spread all over the internet!

And they feature offers from U.S. Credit Card issuers (leading ones) such as J.P. Morgan Chase, Bank of America, Citibank and leading brands Visa, MasterCard, American Express and Discover Card. Now if that isn't what I'm talking about, what is, folks? If you are looking to compare different credit cards on the internet, and find the best one that suits you, I don't know why you wouldn't go look at them today. I'm going to check them out right now, seriously. Everybody could use a good credit card, and they will help you find the right one!

Trott walks into a bar, doesn't duck; jumps over it

You know what I'm saying, metaphorically speaking of course? Isn't that cool? When Trott reaches an obstacle, he doesn't slow down, he just keeps going and jumps over that shit. And if he can't jump over it, he climbs that ish. But if he can't climb it, he blows it up with cartoon TNT and walks through it. And...when all else fails, he just gives up.

What?

Yeah, I know.

"I'm home!" says Sparky

The Chicago Bulls, this weekend, welcomed Arizona State University Sun Devil mascot, "Sparky," otherwise known as Matt Splunkterton, home to Chicago this weekend. The Chicago-born, Splunkterton, is the mascot this year at ASU, and has been considered a big part of the Sun Devils recent success this season. Granted, there is some new coach there too, but Matt is considered the real spark...or "Sparky". Hey-oh!

Luol Deng and Kobe Bryant were on hand to greet the Sun Devil star. It was a good time had by all. Everybody drank a lot, and ate a lot. The end.

Sarbanes 404!

The coolest phrase I've heard lately is "sarbanes 404". Isn't it awesome? But what is it? I'll tell you...if you settle down.

Symark Software is by far the leading provider of UNIX and Linux security administration solutions. And they have announced something new. You know what it is? Its PowerBroker and PowerPassword-User Management Edition (UME) access control solutions that will fully support the new HP Integrity servers that are running the HP-UX 11i v3 operating system. What does all that mean? Well...besides "awesome", I'm going to tell you:

There were some security gaps in over 30 version of UNIX and Linux systems, but they have been addressed. By doing this, they have helped organizations safeguard proprietary information and comply with federal AND industry regulations!

Here's the breakdown of that though... Symark’s PowerBroker and PowerPassword-UME identity management and access control solutions combine best-of-breed functionality with ease-of-use to limit access to information and systems based on predefined policies and privileges. If that is technologically cool and radical, I don't know what is. And the best part is that PowerBroker protects the root account from both external and internal enemies. The root account is the most targeted, usually, so, this is good. But, also, the UME allows IT managers to deploy, centrally, modifdy and delete individual UNIT and Linux user accounts. That sure makes it easy. Right, Sarge? Just listen to Michelle Weiss, vice president of marketing, Business Critical Systems, HP, when she says, “Security is a top priority for enterprise customers." Listen to her...because she manes it, folks.

Want to know a little bit more about Symark? Well, they were founded in 1985. They are the leading provider of security administration solutions for heterogeneous IT environments. And, also, Symark PowerBroker® enables granular delegation of administrative privileges while restricting UNIX/Linux root account access. Pretty cool stuff, right? I hope you think so, because you need to.

Stop motion ya'll!

Now it isn’t too often that I can find my self raving about a video, but here it goes…..This video is cool. Is that raving? With all the crap that is out there it is always nice to find a gem like this. It’s not two lame ass friends lip syncing to a web cam. It’s not someone who you could care less about sharing their absurd opinions. It’s not some wanna be with no sense of humor trying to make a funny film. You may ask, “Then what is it doing on You Tube?”
Anyone that knows anything about production and editing could tell you that this must have been quite an undertaking. But it was worth it. This is probably the most innovative stop motion film I have seen.

The only thing that pisses me off about this video is that I didn’t make it.
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You heard the one about the guy?

This one actor said that this is by far the best thing SNL has done since “Chronic-what-les of Narnia.” Or should I say…the best thing Andy Samburg/Lonely Island has done since “Chronic-what-les of Narnia.” There isn’t really anything you can even say about this. You can’t make fun of it. It’s too awesome.

Wasn’t that the ish? I challenge anyone to say that video sucked. If you think that video sucked then you must be the lamest person in the world. I’m that cereal about this folks. And you know this video is going to hit the clubs. Shooottt…this song may actually get me to go back to the clubs and ish. I don’t even have anything to say really. Hopefully you just watched that dick-in-the-box ish. Merry Christmas ya’ll…especially you girl, you know what’s up…just my dick in a box.

UPDATE: NBC is dumb and removed all of the copies of this video from YouTube.

If you are looking for a list broker: look here

You may need to check out a good list broker. If you want updates on ground breaking mailing list databases, then you need to contact Martin Worldwide. They are in Westlake Village, CA, and our awesome. They are one of the leaders in the direct marketing industry. In my opinion, they are the one though. They have built a reputation by offering innovative mailing list products for their clients, man! And what is one of those products that has done well, you ask? How about,ResponseCom™? What is it? It's a potent, proprietary (big words) blend of U.S Consumer databases and U.S. Response. What does it result in? How about a multi-dimensional database? How's that for ya?

One that offers extreme versatility and over 100 demographic....and...psychographic selects! Really cool stuff. And this synthesis is really special. It is compiled and response data that has created an unparalleled, powerful database! And one that completely accurately identifies prospects with the most active, responsive, and impulsive buying history. Talk about useful! As a splendid result, their clients have experienced higher response rates, profitability, and new business opportunities! This is according to their manager! In actuality, they are literally one of the most successful and largest mailing list providers in the nation! They offer customized mailing lists, telemarketing lists, and fax lists. And they provide these to small business...all the way up to Fortune 1000 clients. But it doesn't come easy. They do this by utilizing over a decade of experience, knowledge, and database acquisition expertise!

They possess a database of over 290 million consumers...14 million U.S. businesses. Oh yeah, and they are one of the only...one of the only major list providers that actually guarantee their data integrity in actual writing! So contact them today. It will be a good decision. One of the best in the history of men, and their kind.

Get ready for more

But now let’s play Devil’s advocate. Even though there is no reason to and no argument for his behavior. Is Los Angeles a racist city? Does the necessity of stereotyping and racial profiling that comes with the terrority in the casting process in Hollywood contribute to the attitude of the people in the city? Couple that with one of the most diverse racial/ethnic mixes of people in the country, and a whole slew of cultural confusion because of it, and what do you get? Racism. However, most of it is harmless and simple misunderstanding. Michael Richards’ outburst was not. It was flat out racist and very, very sad. Sad for everybody involved.

The state of racism is improving in this country, but I think it’s safe to say, the process is going to take a lot longer than we all think…and it starts with the media.

OK. Great you say. “Whatever YouTube Roast. You are an idiot.” Ok, that’s cool if you think that. Let’s show Michael Richards apology on the Letterman show, even though no apology will ever help what he did.
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See? Just as uncomfortable. Well I for one, don’t believe Micheal Richards is a racist, as unpopular as that comment sounds. But, I do believe he has some major racial issues and some very sick demons deep inside that he needs therapy for. It’s messed up. It’s inexcusable. But maybe, in a totally f-ed up way, our country needed this. Racism is sugar coated in this country. Everybody tries to be PC and say what is right all the time. We “act” as if everything is cool. We are lead to believe that it somehow, racism hardly exists now, but it does. It does, very much so. And it’s not limited to a particular race. It’s not one-sided. It goes against, blacks, whites, hispanics, asians, middle easterners…everybody. And it won’t stop until we all, as a people, decide to learn from the past, but stop living in it. What our ancestors in this country did, in regards to race, is what it is. It’s over. We can’t change it. We can’t even make up for it. It’s a new day. It’s time for everybody to move on and focus on the racial issues at hand TODAY, and what steps we can take to improve them. Improvement comes first, then, hopefully, someday we will be closer to a solution. Until then, everybody go home for Thanksgiving, enjoy a good meal with your hopefully non-racist family, and say a prayer for Michael Richards, the victims of his tirade and everybody. Praying isn’t one-sided either ya’ll. We all need help.

I’m not even going to try to rate these videos.

M. Richards' time

Get ready to be uncomfortable. If you haven’t seen it by now (and I don’t know how that’s even possible), here is the racial slur-filled tirade from Michael Richards at the Laugh Factory last weekend. Damn it Cosmo Kramer. Why? Say it ain’t so. We all knew the guy was crazy. Check out his IMDB. Kramer, the psycho bow-tie killer in Problem Child, Stanley in UHF…the list of crazy roles go on. But racist? Damn it. There are no excuses for this. He killed his career and the stuff he said makes me sick.

But now let’s play Devil’s advocate. Even though there is no reason to and no argument for his behavior. Is Los Angeles a racist city? Does the necessity of stereotyping and racial profiling that comes with the terrority in the casting process in Hollywood contribute to the attitude of the people in the city? Couple that with one of the most diverse racial/ethnic mixes of people in the country, and a whole slew of cultural confusion because of it, and what do you get? Racism. However, most of it is harmless and simple misunderstanding. Michael Richards’ outburst was not. It was flat out racist and very, very sad. Sad for everybody involved.

Jobs that recruit

I'm one of those rare people who like risk management jobs. Call it what you will, but there's something about these jobs that just gets in my DNA and sticks there.

And since 1967, A.E. Feldman Associates, Inc. has maintained a high standard of service and commitment in the field of recruiting. So check them out. They have a reputation and a discretion and a consistent record of successful placements that have helped them build strong and trusted relationships. And these relationships are with clients who are industry-leading...but also top-quality. So it really benefits both the employer and the employee. Their recruiters all had fruitful careers in industries that they represent, so they bring in depth experience, knowledge, skill and insight to their job of recruiting. Not to mention that their contacts and feel for their designated field, helpes them to make the best match possible, and best fit for each and every, single job! Cool!

They represent some different areas: financial and risk management services, legal and legal support services, communications and technology, human resources consulting, and luxury products. But it goes deeper...because inside of those fields, they fill positions from middle, all the way up to executive, all the way up to top “C level” management…and they do this nationally. And it's from associates to partners...and even, from analysts to managing directors! So if that's not cool, and noteworthy, then it's not my fault. Read it and weep. But don't weep, just read it, and check it out.

Turkey is cool

Tourism is a huge industry nowadays and everyone wants a piece of the pie. I live in California and I saw a commercial telling me to go to Arkansas…yeah right. But one thing I will say about the Arkansas commercial is that it was honest advertising. It showed that I could go ride horses and roller coasters. And I could catch a delicious bass. Not the most exciting trip but none the less honest. But I think the country of Turkey might have a hard time telling the truth.

So if you go to Turkey, you will be able to go flying through the skys on a surfboard. You will see flying mermaids, a dancing lady that walks on water, and a giant man jumping buildings and bridges on his giant horse. This should not be a commercial for Turkey. It should be a commercial for Amsterdam. You are ten times more likely to see a flying mermaid in Amsterdam. Especially after making a purchase at any of the local cafes.

Man, this is not funny

Remember in high school when you and your friends made a video that was pretty funny, but only because you knew all of the people involved? Well…I’m guessing that’s what this is, because otherwise, I would think the time they spent, making this video, about the crazy shopping day after Thanksgiving known as “Black Friday,” would have been better spent actually shopping, or at least eating some turkey leftovers or something. Or maybe they could have donated the time to charity by serving Thanksgiving dinners to the homeless down at the shelter, because I think most people watching this video, will feel strong enough about the time they just wasted, to demand that sort of thing of the creators of this video. You know? Like community service to make up for the people’s time who they wasted by suggesting that they watch this.

Wasn’t that crazy? Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go eat some crackers, drink a bowl of bourbon, put on a Santa Clause hat, sing croon “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” and head to Best Buy to try and get a PS3. (Yes, we have a Best Buy 20,000 leagues under the Atlantic Ocean, just off the coast of Miami.)

You taking the holy walk down the aisle soon?

Just wondering...are you getting married and looking for good Wedding Ideas to fulfill all of your bridal or grooming needs? Well then go to WeddingChannel.com. They have been literally helping brides and grooms get their wedding exactly how they want them--and they've been doing this since 1997. They want your wedding to go just as planned. They are the world wide web's most comprehensive wedding-planning site. They are cool and combine free, interactive planning tools. But more than that... They also combine this with expert advice, inspiration photos, a local vendor guide, a patented online registry system, and much, much more to make planning a classic, upscale wedding as stress-free and worry-free as possible. They also make it easy. Seriously, folks--planning your wedding the way you want it is just a few simple clicks away. Just go there right now and check it out. Make sure you are getting married first though. Check it!

Welcome home!

Nowadays, anything Star Wars-related at all, pisses me off. But this is mildly-entertaining. Since they made it 1:14 and not any longer, it works. I thought I was going to hate it, but it was worth watching, once. I don’t need to ever see it again and I can rest, knowing the good Lord didn’t gip me.

But if he had gipped me by not allowing me to see this video, I wouldn’t care about that either. He already blessed me with this time machine that I use to travel through different times, spaces and dimensions, and back to my home, 20,000 leagues under the Atlantic Ocean, just off the coast of Miami.

Trott goes bonkers for people in videos

What is it about YouTube? They love to feature videos that are either a rip-off of Borat or something that reminds you of him. (And just for the record, I’m not jumping on the Borat bandwagon. I’ve been there since the beginning honky.)

Seriously though, this video is entertaining enough. But it kind of reminds me of partying in the seedy, Russian parts of Hollywood. Luckily, my name isn’t Alonzo, so I was cool when I did. Hey-yo! Seriously though folks, it’s quittin’ time…oh no…oh no, I’m about to start boozin’. One more rendition of “Come Fly With Me?” Alright, you twisted my arm.

How did all these people get in this video? Badabing!

Payday Loans. Who doesn't need em?

If you are desperately trying to get a payday loan, you've come to the right blog: CheckCity.com.

But what are they and why? Why, they are only a leader in online payday lending. And they are very excited about the new possibilities, now that loans are now available to residents of Montana as well! They are licensed individually by each state in which they do business too. This is to provide the absolute, positive best service and protection for their consumers. Fantastical idea! Consumers can now be confident that there will be a future for t hem, and that every single loan that is received is absolutely legal (not to mention conducted under the laws of the consumer's state). At CheckCity.com, they make customer satisfaction and service #1 on the list of important things. And they have one of the fastest growing online payday lenders in the entire country! Let's also talk specifics: They have a totally secure website, bro. They have a no hassle sign up process. They have competitive prices. They have it all! You can't go wrong with a loan from them. So check them out today. Do it, Francis!

Hello, race fans

New York Marathon runners have been questioning why Katie Holmes was admitted to the race without qualifying (even though 60,000 other applicants were denied).

Mrs. Tom Cruise was admitted to the race as a VIP, unlike Lance Armstrong who went through standard qualifying procedures.

The minimum qualifying run time for a woman runner is 3 hours and 23 minutes. Katie’s time: 5 hours, 29 minutes and 58 seconds.

When asked about the special treatment, Richard Finn, Director of Media Relations for marathon said:

“Celebrities and people with name recognition are important to every sport, it adds glitz and glamor.

Does Billy Crystal have trouble getting tickets to the Yankees World Series? No.

Do celebrities have trouble getting reservations in hot restaurants? No. In fact, they probably don’t even pay for the meals much of the time.”

I'm an Aaron Carter fan

First of all, this video is way too long, but then again, there isn’t much I would cut out. Check this out if you have time, especially at work. It’s a mock of MTV’s Fanatic and Aaron Carter. It’s pretty funny. It’s one of those, alright-good-job-I-don’t-ever-have-to-see-this-again-but-good-job-type videos.

Hey-yo! My favorite part was when the girl calls him a “douchebag.” What a silly little girl, doesn’t she realize she just left an Aaron Carter concert? You don’t get room to call anybody a douchebag after that. But hey, that’s how I beat Shaq. Where can I get an Aaron Carter t-shirt like that? If you have comments, let the creator of this film, Justin Noble, know what you think about it. E-mail him at: justin.noble@yale.edu

Certified Coins=Certifed Awesome

You want to know about certified coins? I know, so does my dog.

Well, you've heard of the Monex family of companies, correct? Monaco Rare Coin is part of that. Who is Monex? They are a trusted leader of precious metal investments...and that's for nearly 40 years! They have...oh...just helped tens of thousands of investors like yourself invest in over $25 billion in hard asset investments. And this includes rare coins. And what are rare? Gold, silver and platinum bullion, and bullion coins, man. (And other precious metals investments for ya.) It's pretty intriguing if you ask me, and you are reading me, so I'm assuming you are asking me too. They offer a unique, vast, impressive array of resources--for investors AND collector. That's pretty key. They like both types of coin admirers. And you can find...make that, you will find, the finest rare coins available. There will be an experiences and knowledgeable cadre of professionals that are ready, and more than willing to serve you, and your needs.

There is a broad range of investment programs too. And their products will fit most any budget. That's almost any budget. So, through them, you will awesomely have immediate access to investment-grade coins, and a wide range of them. And these are valued in excess of $10,000,000! (You can get others on short notice too.) What can you rely on? There (menaing Monaco's) two-way buy-and-sell market for RARE coins and precious metals. Cool! They are involved in all the different markets too: the wholesale market, the collector market, the international market and auctions! They help you find the best at the best rate. If you are smart, like me, dealing with a rare coin expert makes sense. As a collector or investor, you should strive to have every advantage available to you in order to get rich. These coin experts can help you find opportunities you dont' know about, and help avoid possible market pitfalls! It's a unique blend of expertise, experience and financial muscle, that few rare coin companies can replicate. They have a connection to a worldwide network of resources that keeps them in constant touch with rare coin market trends and developments! Gnarly in a good way! But, did I mention that their advisors are members of the Professional Numismatic Guild? No? Dern. I should have. What's it called? Oh, just the American Numismatic Association. What are they? Oh, just a Professional Coin Grading Service. What are two other associations they have? Oh, just Numismatic Guarantee Corporation of America and The National Silver Dollar Round Table..and numerous other numismatic trade organizations. That's 2+? My bad. It's not easy for just anyone to build a world class rare coin portfolio, in a cost-efficient way, but they can. It takes a dealer with this: vast resources, broad-based experience and an unending commitment to providing the utmost in service to the customer, to make it happen. It takes awesome experts like Monaco Rare Coin. Monaco stands behind its recommendations, market information, quality selection and service. If you don't believe them, ask them again! And ask them for a free trial subscription to “The Rare Coin Insider” at the same time, man..

Weird pirate video

I don’t know what this is…but I suddenly feel the need to be high…on anything. Get me something. This ish is…uh…weird. I can’t even think of bigger words than that after watching this brain-numbing musical number that has the audacity to tell me what I am. I am NOT a pirate; I don’t know who you’ve been talking to buddy, but it wasn’t me.

Seriously, if this is for kids…why? It’s not educational. It’s hypnotizing and reminds me of the song “Barbie Girl.” Damn, I need a nap now.

Oprah is taking over YouTube?

Pardon my abbreviated language, and nothing against Oprah, she’s great, but, are you fucking kidding me!? Oprah is now posting exclusive YouTube videos on her own channel, and is now picking the featured videos on the front page (at least today)? Seriously, when is she running for President? (Not that there would be anything wrong with that…)

[Insert Oprah YouTube video that you can’t embed because of idiot bloggers such as myself here.]

The best part is that you can’t even embed any of her videos because, well, it’s obvious: idiot bloggers like me who will say a lot worse than I am and post her videos on their page. Look, Oprah’s great and all, but I just didn’t see this coming…but I guess that’s why she’s Oprah and pretty much owns the media. Oh well…at least she’s in the great city of Chicago. I’m going to give her 5 roasts, in hopes that she will read my book, The Verge of Psychosis: An Aspiring Actor’s Journal, and recommend that too. I’m keeping my fingers crossed and holding my breath. Toodles! (Wait, did I just say toodles!? Oh no. Oprah is now affecting my site as well… NOTE: There is no video evidence in the history of the Oprah Winfrey Show to prove she ever said, “toodles,” but it would be a lot cooler if there was.)

You should check out Mexico, with this deal here

If you are tired, you should check into All Inclusive Mexico Vacations soon.

The white sand beaches of Rivera Maya. Sound nice? It does to me. Well, check out the Karisma Hotels. They are a collection of properties that is brilliant and our secluded on these white beaches. And the word "karisma" is Greek for "divine favor", so there you go, man. This awesome Resort collection offers Karisma's new Gourmet-Inclusive concept. And it's designed especially for foodies, or, people who like to eat food...a lot. There is an elite level of service, and I'm talking elite, in each resort. It's great for a very relaxing vacation. And then you put some luxurious accommodations that will invigorate entertainment and classy, right when you want it service, to the mix. It's awesome!

The Karisma concept of luxury all-inclusive has absolutely NO EQUAL! Listen to some things they have: beach beds with retractable curtains (for random moments of ocean-view intimacy...ewwww...), beachside bar swings, dedicated Beach Butlers and design-conscious details! And this is all a private haven of privilege, dog! What else though, you ask? OK. How about:

hot tubs, hammocks, swim-up rooms with ocean views, white gauze curtains floating over four poster beds, sunset margaritas that are served by Beach Butlers on a private stretch of sand, exquisitely presented food prepared by expert chefs…I mean, are you f***ing kidding me!!??? It's f***ing awesome!!!!! And it's all part of the Karisma concept.

Want to hear about their food? Listen to this then. They have a thing called Gourmet-Inclusive. It's a radically new concept in travel and cuisine. It's all about the sophisticated world travelers who have come to expect and appreciate find details behind a good dining experience event. It's all included! Yes, I'm telling the truth! It's not some ordinary inclusive fare either. It's service or locales are not ordinary. Their gourmet-level cuisine is served...in...sleek...and...sensual sit-down locales and fashion forward bars! Isn't that radical, dude? I'm ready to go party there now! There's no buffet table, but there is one for kids. And these places have bars that have cool touches like actual swings, hanging beds, iced tops to keep drinks frosty cold, tequila lounges with 30 artisanal tequilas too. What? You want me to drop more names? You aren't convinced yet? Okay. How about private-label wines from Argentina's Mendoza Valley vineyards. Awesome!

Now, let's talk about divisions. Karisma has five signature resorts. What are they? Here: El Dorado Royale Spa Resort (adults only), El Dorado Seaside Suites (adults only), Azul Beach (family-friendly) and Azul Blue (family-friendly – opening November 2006) and Hidden Beach Resort (naturalist). Bam!

Now, let's break them down, yo:

Azul Blue Hotel + Spa – Riviera Maya
What is it? Azul Blue in the Riviera Maya is the world’s first stress-free hotel, and guess what else? It opens in November 2006. Everything there has been created to cater to your personal sanity and relaxation. They have 98 luxury suites that overlook the Mexican Caribbean. And Azul Blue’s has the most complete spa on the Riviera Maya. It will totally pamper your body with an array of soothing treatments. These treatments can taken on-site, on the beach, or in the room. Also, select from invigorating or relaxing activities, if you want, like deep-sea fishing, cenote diving or even meditation classes! Hey-oh! After all this...there is actually more, folks. You can get candlelight dinner for two, with a multi-course meal, in one of three restaurants! Choose from one of the dishes they design. It will completely soothe that palate of yours, bro! Then, snuggle up with your in-room ipod...in front of a wide-screen plasma...and that's between fine Italian linens with pillows selected from a menu! A pillow menu! They've got it! There is absolutely no "stresspassing" here, folks. Their word, not mine.

Now, let's talk El Dorado Royale Resort – Riviera Maya. If you want romance, book a suite--A Casita suite-- here! Live in the natural bliss of “Aquas del Amor”, folks. This place is literally set on over a mile of unspoiled beach, AND in 450 acres of tropical rainforest! Sickness! And of course it's gourmet-inclusive again. The swim-up. The Ocean Front Casita Suites. They are there. And they include veranda hammocks, king-sized jacuzzis. It's awesome. Don't forget the swim-up bar. All of the 504 Junior Suites, man. They feature air conditioning. They are breez-enhancing. And this place features five-star dining in seven restaurants: El Cocotal, D’Italia, La Carreta, Kampai, Jo Jo’s Seaside Caribbean Grill, and La Isla; and the new open-kitchen format of Fuentes – debuting this summer with the theatrical backdrop of 5 open kitchens, bro!
You want more? Well, did I mention the beachside wedding chapel and full wedding and honeymoon coordination!? No, well I just did now. Romantics will love it there as well. They have divinely decadent pleasures like these milk baths and these aromatic massages. That's in their spa. Yup.

You know about the El Dorado Seaside Suites – Riviera Maya? No? You should. Like I said befor, they are on the secluded white sand beach of Kantenah, and in the middle of the Riviera Maya. Bam! It's relaxed. It's casual. But most of all, it's rich with design detail and sensual extras, dog! This is an adults-only resort, and of course, yet again, it has The Gourmet Inclusive. There are 196 Junior Suites there. Direct access to the beach granted. They are decorated in a mélange of Mexican and contemporary-style. You want specs? You got spec. Bam: real Mexican tile or marble floors and furniture crafted from local Yucatan wood is in the room!

You ready for Azul Beach Hotel – Riviera Maya? Sure, we all are. There is a beautiful stretch of el Bahia Pentempich beach in Puerto Moreles. And it's been re-opened after being completely redone! It's the first boutique all-inclusive resort. There are only 98 rooms, and again...the whole gourmet-inclusive dining philosophy. They are family-friendly, with great amenities. Parents are pampered with adult-sized indulgences as well as extras like strollers, cribs, baby milk heaters, beach games, coloring books, refrigerators for milk and medicines, and even kid-sized bathrobes.

And the dining is splendid. They have low-carb menus, lobster-only menus, South Beach diet options, and other specials you may like to eat. And they are available at Azul Beach’s eclectic Blue Restaurant. But there are other restaurants. There is Azul Beach’s Asian Tainan restaurant or the other one, La Mancha. The Agavero Tequila Lounge is a replica of a 19th century Tequila bar where over 30 different Tequilas, including Añejo, Reposado and Blanco, are served.

Okay, and are you ready for Hidden Beach Resort – Riviera Maya? You better be. Know what else? Hidden Beach Resort Au Natural Club caters to nudists. That's right, I said it: nudists. Bam. It's the only luxurious, all-inclusive nudist resort in the Mexican Caribbean! It's secluded, adults-only property with 42 suites that sit along the beach, dog. Swim-up suites and a swim up bar. And of course, all the suites offer air conditioning, ceiling fans, satellite TV, DVD and CD library, plush robes and 24-hour room service for private dining. This includes their La Vista a’ la Carte restaurant where food is available from 6am to 2am. That's right! They are only closed for 4 hours a day! The restaurants at the neighboring El Dorado Seaside Suites are also available for a night when guests want to dress up (but don't go naked to those). What else can you do? You can sunbathe beach or poolside. There are towels and a variety of activities such as yoga, ping-pong, massage and volleyball for your entertainment!

I'm signing up soon!

I'm 40; I'm a man

I'm 40 years old today. It's my birthday. I'm a man. Thank you very much. You want to see my six pack abs? Good. Here they are, on my iphone. Man, look at that definition. And did I mention I'm 40? Okay, good. I wasn't sure. Alright, now everybody dance.

Just kidding. Did you think I was serious? I don't want everybody to dance.

An actor performs in the park

This Saturday, an actor will perform in the park. Johnny Dodgerson will perform a TBA monologue in Echo Park this Saturday. Which Saturday? Saturday November 18th. That Saturday.

So be there, anywhere between the hours of 5:00 am and 10:00 pm to catch the performance of the century. You know how, in New York's Central Park, they perform theatre for free on Sundays or something? This is going to be exactly like that, except on a Saturday, and one man: Johnny Dodgerson, King of Monologues.

Honda Radiator anyone?

If you are looking to buy a Honda Radiator, read on...

There is a leader online. It's the leader in online sources for radiators and cooling components. It's name? Radiator.com. What do they do? They offer the best quality radiators, and this is at the lowest prices possible--not to mention the included satisfaction guaranteed lifetime warranty! Hey-oh! This totally radical online outlet is backed by a network of completely locally-owned distribution hubs and warehouses. These places ensure that the part you need is not only in stock, but can be delivered ASAP.

As I said before, they are an online leader in this, so they assure you a totally flawless experience, and this is by offering the best quality radiators at the lowest possible price. And this doesn't matter if you are a commercial consumer, or just an average Joe. If you are looking for a radiator, you'll experience the great expertise and high service level at Radiator.com. They are a family-run, American business too. They have warehouses all over the country too, so you can possibly expect next day delivery.

Look, a lot of radiator companies will offer cheap radiators, but that's because they import cheaply made parts. Not Radiator.com, yo. What do they use? How about the highest quality OE style and aftermarket parts. That do anything for ya? Good. There'se no middleman. You deal with them: you get your radiator. High quality: low price. It's just what they do, man.

Eliminating the middleman by selling directly to the customer allows Radiator.com to keep the quality high and the prices low.

Walking backwards on my face

Trees in the summertime. Pigs making fart noises with the mud. Balloons pressing against glass windows like breasts. Weirdos.

That was a poem I wrote when I was in Nam. I don't know if you like it...and I don't care, because I'm an Amerriicann. You're not (if you don't like it). It's poetry, and I do it in my sleep. I dare you to try and write some. Yeah right; like that would happen.

Welcome to wikipedia 2

I just invented a new wikipedia and I decided to put the code for the entire site on this page. Ready? Here it is:

&^%%

That's it! That whole magical code creates a brand new wikipedia! I'm calling it Wikipedia 2, which I believe is really original. Awesome! I can't wait for it to blow up. I'm going to make millions! Alright, talk to you later when I'm rich.

If you want a college degree...olnine, look here!

You ready to earn a degree online? Sure, we all are. Well now, you can check out capella university. It's a good way to get educated. Trust me.

Seriously, it is. I've heard of Capella University before, and it is legitimate. Now, I'm going to tell you more. From what I hear, Capella University is an accredited university (which is huge). And it's been around. It was founded in 1993. It's fully online and offers graduate online degree programs in the following: business, information technology, education, human services, public health, public safety, and psychology. It also offers bachelor’s degree programs in business, information technology, and public safety. Those are some pretty good areas if I do say so myself. But it goes deeper than that, folks.

They offer 104 graduate and undergraduate specializations and 15 certificate programs within those areas I just mentioned. Sweet! (This is all as of October 23, 2007, of course.) And if you think the university is small time, then listen to this: They have nearly 20,000 students enrolled online right now! And this is from all 50 states and 56 countries! That's quite a reach. And they want the academic experience to be of the highest caliber. Even though you are studying online, they want you to grow, as if you were at a university in person.

Listen, folks. If you want an online education that will truly be valuable to your development as a person, Capella University is it. They are completely owned by the Capella Education Company. Their headquarters are in Minneapolis. For more information, check out the link above. You won't be disappointed. I don't work for them, but if I did, I would guarantee it too.

Welcome back

In case you didn't read the last blog (which happens a lot here), I'm totally revamping my site. Also, I hope you enjoyed that commercial break with Sparky's Kitten Litter. It really is good stuff. I'm not just advertising it because they are paying me. Nope. Not at all.

In other news, I'm revamping this site. Oh...I just said that. My bad. The new site is going to feature a Google search...on the page! Awesome! It's also going to feature a bunch of animated GIFS, and an under construction sign to signify that it's a work in progress. I hope you can't wait as much as I can't wait! Peace!

Welcome to The Fan Club...again

I just wanted to inform all my readers out there that I'm restarting things with this blog. I'm going to ball out of control with it now. I'm going to use big words (in Spanish, "palabras"); I'm going to use proper grammar; and I'm going to be hitting you with the latest in pimp-tight lyrical blogging. You know what that means? It means that my blog is awesome, and you are for reading it. Okay, I gotta go eat dinner now. I'm making roman noodles and caviar. Bye!