Trott Felipe Loves GOOOLLLDDDDD! (Horrible Austin Powers Reference)

Trott Felipe loves his gold, let me tell ya boy.

Would you like to buy gold and precious medals and have them delivered to safe storage at an independant bank? You can do it!? (lame Water Boy reference) Seriously yo! MDC will work that ish for you, just like they've been workin' ish for 30 years now cuz.

Gold comes in two ways for investors. 1) coin 2)ingot

Holla!!!

Oh, what are ingots? They are pure bullion, cast in a good size and shape. Awesome! And coins have that special curency value, defined by the ingots yo!! This ish is unique. Do it foo!

Man has always loved gold. And now that diamonds are going out of style becuase of diamond mine slavery, gold is back! Gold is powerful. Gold is wealth. Gold can diversify investments, protect wealth and preserve yo purchasing power, yo. Monex Precious Metals is the dealer you need to check out. They will really help you out.

Trott Felipe Spotted at Staples Center

Amazingly, Trott Felipe was spotted outside of the Staples Center Wednesday...on a night that neither the Lakers nor Clippers had a game. What a goof! (Did the Trott Felipe's Fan Club writing staff just use the term goof? Yes we did! Hoo-ah!)

So what did Trott do, as he was trying to scalp tickets to a game that didn't exist? He did the only thing he could do in that situation: Lit a match, and blew the place up. "That was a quote from the Godfather and the Soprano's, but definitely not Goodfellas," said Trott.

Trott Felipe's Latest on the Chicago Bulls

The Chicago Bulls. What do you think of when you hear the team name? The dominant team of the 90's? The Jerry Sloan version? The shitty team after Michael's final departure? I'll tell you what I think about--the team right now. The underachieving team. Ben Wallace had not gelled so far and Tyson Chandler seems to be missed. Something has got to be done. This is reminding me of the team with Jalen Rose and Scottie Pippen. There was so much hype and then they sucked.

Fartin' on a snare drum man. Fartin' on a snare drum.

Do you know Norvasc? Trott does.

Get ready ya'll. It's Norvasc time.

Expansion. It's inevitable. Well now, this clinical website with health information is expanding too. Now, clinicians can reference Epocrates Online for questions. There are actual pictures of the pills so patients really know what they are.Clinicians can also print these pictures for their patients. Patients always have pill questions after they leave the doctor with a prescription. I mean, come on. Nobody knows what drugs look like...except college kids. So now, there is even a FAQ for this medications yo. And there are handouts available in English and Spanish yo! That's what they call bilingual or something! Hey-yo!! What kind of questions will you find on the handouts? How about these:

What if I miss a dose?

Should this be taken with food?

Swallowed whole?

What are the possible side effects?

Also, for insured patients, clinicians can find the average retail price for medications in Epocrates drug database. For insured patients, clinicians can check for health plan coverage and even...copay tiers and can then prescribe a lower-cost option for those nerds...I mean people.

More than 3,300 drugs, that's what else they offer. Boo-yah! It's awesome!

Trott Felipe, Smartest Guy in the Room

You know why? Trott knows Bulls' basketball. Here is why he does:

Wait for it...wait for it... Wait a minute. I'm still waiting for it. There is no good reason to root for the Bulls right now. Except, for the fact that they have won two straight...against the Knicks. Perfect. If there is one team the Bulls need to sweep this year...it's the Knicks. They need to get the best draft pick possible and beating the Knicks helps that. It's going to be great. The Bulls need Oden or Noah. It's pretty simple really. Or they need to use the draft pick to get a big man. But...let's not get ahead of ourselves. The Bulls won tonight. Ben Wallace had a great game...without a headband! Holy shit!

Trott Felipe Loves the Bulls!

You know why? You know why I like the Bulls? Seriously, do you know man? Well...I'll tell you bro. Because, they are from Chicago and they are the Bulls. That's why. What other reason would I have right now? Headbands? No. Playing well? Nope. Winning their division? Nope. Missing Tyson Chandler? Yes. Was Tyson the "answer"? No. So what are ya gonna do? Nothing. Sit back, and hope the team gels...quickly. Fuck headbands.

Pick a Pack...any pack

Pick Pack Logistics are freakin' awesome main. They are even about to open a new spot in San Fran A.K.A. "The Bay Area." They fulfill service needs for small and medium internet retail stores. It's all about outsourcing yo! Internet retailers need to worry about advertising, marketing, public relations and extending the product line. Pick Pack Logistics helps you worry about this stuff and not the products. You can store the prodct in their fulfillment warehouse. When a customer orders from your site, the order is sent directly to the fulfillment huse. The right products are picked, packed in a box and mailed to the customer. It's great. You don't have to worry about the hastle. Check out Pick Pack Logistics immediately yo!

Yoz boyyyyyyeeeee!!!

Ughhhh!!! Remember this stuff? People would say, Yo boyyyyeyeeeeeyeyey!!! or something? Wasn't that awesome? Well Trott is bringing that back too. Whenever you see one of your friends now, especially in Hollywood, you should say, "What up boyyyyyeeeeeyeyeyeeeee!!!" like Flava Flav, or Harvey Keitel or DMX or Larry Sanders or Barry Sanders or Marla Maples. If you combine all of those people together and say "Yo boyyyyyeeeeyyeee!" it sounds really awesome!

Trott Felipe--bringing nerdbomber back

Remember the show Full House? Remember Uncle Jesse, Uncle Joey and the dog Comet? Remember how awesomely bad the show was? Remember when Uncle Jesse and his wife moved into the attic of the house? WTF? Wake up San Francisco? Ring a bell? Well guess what? Trott Felipe wants to bring the magic of Full House back, in a very simple way. How? Nerdbomber. That's how. Act now. Trott is selling the word Nerdbomber on t-shirts. It's awesome.

Wedding Cameras Take Wedding Photos

Get ready for wedding cameras. Seriously, they are awesome, right?

Well, guess what? I like weddings. My friends like weddings. People in general like weddings. Even weddings like other weddings. Wedding Crashers crash weddings.

You now where you should shop for weddings? An Internet Wedding Superstore! You can get personalized wedding favors for groomsman and bridesmaid gifts. Some have free personalization. It's freakin' awesome yo.

Trott's Favorite Poem

Hi folks. My name is Trott Felipe, aspiring...make that, attained actor, chief mechanic at Jiffy Lube, proprietor of Walt Witman poems and founder of the North Hollywood Actorz Theatre.

Here is a poem I wrote while driving down the 405 today.

Dark traffic.
Deep traffic.
Heavy traffic.
My traffic.
Drug traffic.
Traffic traffic.
Smog traffic.
Lakers traffic.
Audition traffic.
9-to-5 traffic.
Graveyard shift traffic.
My traffic.
Hollywood...Hollywood...Los Angeles...California...Anaheim...Angels

Thank you.

Yo Trott

What!

Yo Trott!

What!

Yo Trott!!

What!!?

Yo Trott!! Warm it up Chris...I mean Trott.

Well that's what I was born to do.

Yeah boooyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeee. Remember that ish? From Kris Kross fame? Uhhh... Trott's about to rap. What What What. Trott in the house, quiet as a mouse. Uh. Yo what's that on your floor Trott. Uh, my girl's blouse. Uhhhhh!!!!

Oh snap! Did you hear that rap. I just did it again! Boo-yah! Word up ya'll!

-Trott Felipe, the next President of Def Jam

Trott Felipe Likes to Be Popular and have Links

Yo, increase link popularity yo. You've got to understand Google to do it, as well as other search engines and all the options you have for increasing traffic and link pop. Google's algorithm is insane. They drive most results organically. They are much more complex than other search engines. They look at website's on-site factors and off-site factors, then they do their ranking. The offsite factors are roughly 35 to 45% of the importance to Google’s algorithm. Page rank isn't as big of a deal in Google's rankings as people think. It still matters, but since you can manipulate that shit, Google doesn't focus on it as much. They focus on links from other sites, going to your site. It's much better getting good links from sites with good page rank. The quality of the page that the link is on relative to your website and/or page it is directed to is very important. People forget that. And Google even looks at the link and where it's placed. If it's in the context, it's much better than if it's at the bottom of the page. Google also looks at the text that surrounds the link and determines how targeted that text is compared to the page that the link points to. Damn yo, maybe I should have paid attention in math class instead of writing freestyle raps.

Some other things they consider and look at, Title Tag, H1 Tags and other META data. You better keep that shit in mind honky. Latent Symantec Indexing is also a new thing being tested. It determines how words relate to each other. Pretty crazy right? The factors that LSI looks at are the Title Tag and the textual content of the page that your link is on. What it all boils down to, is the most important thing is getting people to link to your site. The more the better. Mainly, people explore press release distribution, purchasing links from link brokers, reciprocal linking and link baiting. What they realize is, Press release distribution is the best way but it's also the most difficult because your press release can't be boring. It has to draw people in. You can purchase links from link brokers. But you may get bullshit links doing that, at the bottom of the page.

Exchanging links used to be a good way, but now, not so much. It's not as big of a deal. Link baiting is good, but very difficult as well. With link baiting, you hunt out links, and bring the links to you through unique, popular site content. It's like, the natural way to do it. But, as we have seen with Web 2.0 so far, the best way to increase link popularity is through Blogs. It just is. They are naturally filled with good content, and you can talk about the links in the posts. If a blog links to something you are talking about on your site, you are set. You would need thousands of these to make a difference in your rankings, but this is how it would work. You need links from hundreds or even thousands of Blogs with the same concept and then you will see significant improvements in your rankings and the more popular the word, the more linking you will need. You can't do this yourself, unless you create hundreds and thousands of blogs, which would be insane and not work very well.

That's why we have Blogitive though. They have more than 2000 blogs in their network. You can release a mini-press release through Blogitive and bloggers will get paid to write about it. It will definitely help with traffic. Check it out.

Trott Felipe Wanted by Feds

Trott Felipe, ironically is wanted by the feds for the same tax evasion-type-thing that Wesley Snipes is wanted for. What's ironic about it even more? Bro, the fact that Trott is an extra on the set of Wesley Snipes new movie, filming in Africa, too. Sure, Trott actually wasn't selected to be an extra, shipped himself via FedEx and begged to become on extra on the set to be one, but he is there, and the feds can't get to him, or Wesley Snipes. The worst part? Trott won't even get any face time in the film because he is playing a table. Hey-yo!

Trott Felipe as Borat

he fact that now, nobody will believe me when I tell them that I dressed up as “Borat,” two years ago for Halloween, even if I show them the pictures. I’ve been an Ali G/Borat/Bruno and Sacha Baron Cohen fan for years, but now that he’s mainstream, and in a big way, dressing up as any of his characters is no longer a cool Halloween costume. Well, it’s probably stil pretty cool but just imagine how many people probably dressed up as Borat for Halloween yesterday. It’s definitely not original anymore. It kind of was when I did it two years ago though. Isn’t that awesome?In your face, everybody who dressed up as Borat for Halloween ‘06.

Trott Felipe Likes Degrees (Not the deodorant)

Man, I'm tellin ya bro, you should be interested in degree programs.Serially folks. Have you heard of Capella University? No, not singing acopella. Capella. They were founded in '93. They are an ACCREDITED online university. They offer pretty much everything that normal colleges do. I don't think they have online fraternities/sororities yet though.

But they have graduate degree programs in business, information technology, education, human services, and psychology. They, to make that even mo crazy, mo chedda, mo bangin', they have and bachelor degree programs in business and information technology! Boo-yah! But wait...there's more!! They have seventy-six graduate and undergraduate specializations. And each of those specializations have sixteen certificate specializations yo. Honkified! Right now they be servin' up 16,000 students. But not just any 16,000 students. It's 16,000 students from all 50 states and 63 countries, yo. They are freakin' sick...and their offices are located in Chicago, so you gots ta call em! Ugghhhh!!!!

Trott Felipe Still Talking About PopoZao

This may be the understatement of the year because I’m pretty sure that my Grandma is a better rapper than K-Fed too but I just watched a video on TheSuperficial.com of him jamming to his new single “PopoZao.” If you haven’t seen it you need to check it out (after you read my blog of course). It is the funniest thing I have seen in the last 10 minutes.
I guess I can’t really talk about his rapping because I can’t understand any of it and I can’t tell when it’s him rapping and when it’s his “background rappers/singers” because it is drowned out by an extremely obnoxious beat that even Britney herself wouldn’t use.
I just don’t understand it though. Does he really think that the beat, let alone the song is tight? Or is he just acting that way in an attempt to at least sell a few copies and not totally flop? There have got to be some 13 year old girls somewhere that saw him in US Weekly and are dumb enough to buy his CD. He has to have some kind of a fan base since people are so “celebretarded” these days. Look at who the media is following around these days: Paris Hilton, Nicole Ritchie, Kevin Federline…. Not that this hasn’t been said before but come on. Are you kidding me? Are people that stupid that they would see somebody on TV and think they are awesome? The sad answer is…YES.
I know that I shouldn’t be talking bad about somebody who’s actually a friend of mine on myspace but come on….PopoZao? First of all, the name sounds like a carnival ride at the county fair, a place where K-Fed would probably be working if he didn’t have the good fortune of meeting a no class broad who fooled everybody into thinking that she was the next Madonna and got really rich doing it.
So here is what I propose: A rap battle between me and K-Fed. Winner gets Britney. Not that I really even want her anymore…but I look more like Justin Timberlake anyway and she is probably regreting dumping JT for a guy who looks like Sawyer from the TV show Lost…without the somewhat cool bad boy image.
So that’s where we stand. A rap-off. I think my last 2 rap videos alone prove I’m worthy. They were way better than PopZao and I freestyled them in one take. That’s right folks. One take. Off the top of the dome yo. I didn’t write shit. That’s Jay-Z legendary ya’ll. I’m fucking awesome. I just ran out in the street, took my shirt off, broke a Bud Light bottle, acted all roided-up and tried to fight a whole fraternity. Let’s do this.
-Best Rapper Alive on Myspace

Trott Sees Magic Don Juan Dixon Dimarco or Somebody

There isn’t really much to say. I saw Arch Bishop Magic Don Juan on Friday as I pulled off of Fairfax to a Shell Station on my way to the airport. In a word, it was totally awesome. I didn’t talk to him, but he did look at me, as if to say, “white boy, I don’t give a shit if you’ve seen Old School, we ain’t cool.” I’ll never forget it. He even had Illinois license plates just like me! And a green and yellow mercedes with his name on the back! With green spinners! My day was complete.

In other news, I’m not sure if he had any gemstone jewelry but you should check into that. For the jewelry he was wearing he needs some precious metals quotes. I also don’t think he was wearing Pet ID tags but he should have been. And all of these things combined would involved lawsuits that would necessitate bextra lawyers . Ok, none of that last part really made any sense, but don’t worry about it. The point is, I saw Arch Bishop Magic Don Juan. The man with 5 names…and I’m not really sure if any of them actually describe him, but what the hell. He wears a lot of green and stuff. It’s cool.

Go Go These Gadgets, Hey-yo! LOL Moment, JK

Get ready for gadgets ya'll.

Bro, check this awesome, Multifunctional Digital Mini Speaker I just found out about. Boo-yah! It's really slim and easy to use. It has built-in mp3 decoder chips, They support all types of mp3 files. Of course, this includes SD/MMC card and a convenient USB port. If you don't have USB these days, you might as well be using ZIP drives and floppy disks. This thing can basically do it all though. 1500mAH lithium battery anyone? That's 10 hours of music yo.

Check out these other features of the webcam: -lightweight -portable -works with Mac or PC -works with iChat AV, Yahoo! Messenger and Skype -just $54.99

That's another one from the pimp, ZTMax ya'll. They are doin' it, big time. I even heard a rumor they started on Myspace. Just kidding, but they were started in 2005 by this guy, Ron Sharon, who owns Zetta Global. They are all about having the product for the tech nerd who needs it now. Cool. They are pretty much the "it" company for new technology so check it out.

Check out The Doctor's Blog

I got an e-mail last night from a fellow Myspace blogger, The Doctor™,which has a funny ass blog himself so check it out. I think he actually was wondering initially, what the hell a random dude was doing subscribed to his blog, but checked out my stuff and liked it, so we agreed to whore each others myspace profiles.

I actually found out about his blog from a girl friend of mine who said it was hilarious, so no, I didn’t see a picture of a buff dude in a towel, start talking with a lisp and say to myself, “ohhh, I’m going to check this out.” I was referred. It’s like when people say they only check out Playboy for the articles, except in this case, I’m telling the truth. He definitely is doing a good job though reaching the female audience and in return, his blog has helped me out a lot with building my fanbase here on good old myspace, so add him and check his blog out. .
Check it here, or close your eyes and randomly click pretty much anywhere on this blog and you should get there:
The Doctor™
Drunk Blogger, because when we all link our blogs, everybody wins, and world peace is achieved.

Trott Felipe's Favorite TV Actor: Peyton Manning

I don’t know about any of you. No seriously, I just don’t know about any of you sometimes, but Peyton Manning is the best actor on television right now. His commercials are more entertaining than most of the shows on right now.
Really, the only thing left for me, would be if he joined the cast of Lost (who got screwed in this year’s Emmy’s by the way) and I would be set.
Anyway, I don’t really have much else to say. The proof is in the pudding…wait a minute…JELL-O…that’s it. Peyton Manning and Bill Cosby? That’s it! That’s how I can jumpstart my career! I can write a JELL-O commercial for Peyton Manning! Its got to work! Alright, while I do that, check out these brilliant commercials. I haven’t even included the new awesome one on ESPN featuring Eli.

Trott Felipe does ad for Funeral Flowers

If you are going to a funeral, you'll need funeral flowers.

Man, when you order flowers for birthday or anniversaries and stuff, you need to be careful. Especially when you order online yo. You can't let it get you stressed out. I mean, you want the flowers to be delivered exactly how you ordered them. Well, imagine when you are ordering them for a funeral? It's a much bigger thing. You really, really, really, really wouldn't want this messed up. It's part of your goodbye. That's why you need to check out Dot Flowers because they go the extra mile. They verify every order with the funeral home too. They also make sure that the sender is verified, along with the address. They also give a courtesy cal to the sender when it's verified. It's the least they can do, in a time of grieving.

Trott Felipe Sells Books

With the anticipation brought on by Trott's new autobiography, set to be released in late January, book insiders are going wild, trying to get an advanced copy, and rearrange rap artists' street dates in fear of a wipe out in inner-chart retail movement.

Trott, when reached for comment said, "Eh, bro. I'm Trott Felipe. These rappers wanna test me? I'm Trott Felipe. I wrote an autobiography bros. Sure...it only takes place over the last year of my life, but still, I'm Trott Felipe."

After this interview, it was revealed that rap artists' street dates were not changing, it was a reference to the intro on Makaveli's album. Boo-yah!

Trott Felipe Likes the Bulls. Sorry Lakers.

Te he he, LOL, ROTFL, LMAO. Sorry Lakers, but I'm taken. I'm a Bulls fan! LOL!! I wouldn't be talking about the Lakers silly! Also, I would not talk like the stuff I just typed, at all. Thabo, Tyrus Thomas (broken nose and all), Ben Wallace, P.J. Brown, Khryapa (I probably spelled that wrong) all look great, at least they did in the first win over Miami. I didn't see the Orlando game. I don't have NBA League Pass this year and for some reason, my freakin' cable provider doesn't offer a free preview. Bullshit! Oh well, at least the Bulls will be on National TV more this year. A lot actually.This is third grade student, Trott Felipe, signing off.