Home Improvement...not the show

I want to talk about Home Improvement Contractors.

Dog, there is a quick and easy contractor matching system. It's OnCallContractors. They are all about home improvement projects and renovation projects. They can be stressful on both your family and your finances though. So you have to choose the right contractor. Obviously, this can be challenging though, right? You never know if a contractor may be undependable. But now, you won't have to worry about that with OnCallContractors. They have set up an elite group of contractors, that will assist homeowners in their home improvement needs. They can seriously connect you to these contractors in just a few minutes. And they work with residential and, also, commercial. The contractors are prescreened. This is to make sure they are skilled to handle any construction project you may throw at them. For it to work, or for a contractor to join their network, they have to have a strict review and application process. They also have to be licensed and insured. This means that when you fill out one of their online forms, you are matched to a contractor based on your needs. You can rest easy knowing that it is a contractor you can trust. And, awesomely, they have pre-negotiated discounts with their contractors for all consumer requests! You definitely need to check them out if this is what you are looking for! Do it!

Trott is rooting for the Lakers

But apparently, not rooting hard enough. You know why? Because they are losing, 3-1, against the Phoenix Suns. Damn. But not all is a loss...even though it is. The Lakers only have Kobe Bryant. The rest of the team does nothing. It's retarded. They just stand around and watch him play 1-on-5. Dumb.

Trott Felipe owns Hollywood

Did you know it? Were you aware of it? I don't think you were. Or are. So that's why I'm here to tell you, Trott Felipe owns Hollywood...or at least, your preconceived notion of it. That's right folks, boo-yah-kah-shaw! Trott Felipe will be appearing at Border's books tonight. Hit him up.

Learn about Botox. Know the facts.

A lot of people seem to make fun of botox treatments. Well, I don't think they should, really.

Botox can be a very positive thing for many people, as long as it's not abused. You just need the right place to do it. That's why Puremed Spa is one of the leaders. They are awesome. Their day spa service is awesome! They have locations in California, Ontario, Illinois, Nevada, Oregon, Indiana and Missouri. Botox treatments and injections are what they specialize in. They also have a wide array of beauty services. There is a real demand for this type of thing. Because a lot of people are again, and other simply aren't lucky enought to be born with beautiful skin. It sucks for some, but it's true. There are also some people who suffer the ravages of decades of exposure to the sun. It's a big problem for people in California and Nevada. It is always hot in those places. Well, Botox can help with that. It can help with stressed facial muscles. It's good. How, you ask? It relaxes facial muscles thus diminishing wrinkles. That's a start to looking better. But there are other treatments that can be done. There are lip enhancements, photofacials, laser hair removal, massage and acne treatments. These are all in high demand today. In my opinion, you should do them if you feel the need. Just don't abuse them. Check out Puremed. They are recognized as the leader, and they have hundreds of treatments performed to prove it, man!

Trott is glad it's Sunday

Trott Felipe is tired. You know why? He just got back from the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books. Trott was there, wearing a large foam suit of himself, and handing out free books, bookmarks, postcards, and his skills. Some people hated, but everybody respected. Trott Felipe, your choice for Book of the Year. Don't let Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny win. Vote Trott.

Trott Felipe spotted at Denny's

Trott Felipe was spotted at Denny's this weekend. Weird, considering he doesn't eat food like regular humans. (He doesn't need to. He's Trott Felipe. He is nourished from acting.)

Most of the patrons of the Denny's in Omaha, Nebraska treated him like the hometown star he is: they didn't bug him and acted as if they didn't know who he was. Apparently, they didn't want to bother him while he was enjoying his meal. Now that's what I call: Nebraska hospitality...or maybe they really just had no clue who he was. You decide.

E-learning? E-seriously.

The following blog post is based on information provided by Blogitive. For more information, please visit Blogitive.com.


Get ready for e-learning. That's electronic learning for you people who, if you don't know, probably won't be reading this anyway.

There is a woman named Sara Orem. She is a faculty member at Capella University, which is an online university. She's a faculty member in the university’s School of Business and Technology. And you know what she has done? She has co-authored a book titled ‘Appreciative Coaching: A Positive Process for Change’ Sounds awesome, right?

The time is April 20, 2007. The place is Minneapolis. The PHD that I just talked about wrote a book that deals with the recent developments in psychology and organizational development. It suggests that people and organizations flourish when they focus on human ideals, achievements, and best practices. Jossey-Bass decided to publish her book. They use positive questions, mindfulness, and other tools to acknowledge the strengths of individuals...and effect change!

She didn't just do it herself though. Her co-authors are pimpettes. They are Jacqueline Binkert, PhD, and Ann Clancy, PhD. Word, homie. What do they have to say about it though? Here:

“Rather than focusing on individuals in limited or problem-oriented ways, Appreciative Coaching guides the reader through four stages – Discovery, Dream, Design and Destiny – that inspire them to an appreciative and empowering view of themselves and their future,” Orem says.

“What we have presented is really a new application of appreciative inquiry.”
Orem adds that the book is written for individual coaches of managers, executives, and “those who do one-on-one work with people who can influence and create change in their organizations.”

She dropped mad knowledge on you, son!

What else has Orem done? Just everything. She is also the principal of her own coaching firm. I bet you didn't see that coming! She's presented great programs in Appreciative Inquiry at the National Organization Development Network...and...wait for it...the International Coach Federation annual conferences. Boom-sha-a-lakah! She represents Oakland, CA. Binkert is representing the position of being an executive coach who specializes in working with leaders and teams during times of change. And...Clancy is president of Clancy Consultants and has worked with community organizations, large corporations, and also, federal agencies.

Want to know more abou Capella University? Well...they were founded in 1993. They are accredited! They offer graduate degree programs in business, information technology, education, human services, and psychology. Not to mention Bachelor programs in business and information technology. They have 82 graduate programs and undergrad specifics and 16 certificate programs within all of that! They have 17,900 students from all 50 states and 56 countries. Awesome! Check them out. Their headquarters are in Minneapolis. That's in Minnesota, yo. They are also a member of the NCA, or, the North Central Association of Collegs and Schools. Holla at em.

I like Trott Felipe, do you?

Most people are worried about Trott Felipe these days. But should they be? Industry insiders are saying there is no need; Trott is just crazy. He's clinically insane, but don't let that fool you, he's also an actor.

When Trott receives his first career academy award next year, it will be because of a bribe to kick him out of Los Angeles. So awesome!

Trott Felipe is watching SNL, dog

It's the Peyton Manning episode. I was excited to see it...but not so much now. It's not Peyton's fault though. It's because of the other stuff going on. It's not working. I'm waiting for a Digital Short, something The Lonely Island inspired, something awesome. Where is Chris Farley when you need him? Don't answer that. Damn. Well, this show still needs some help. Damn.

Sales...leads

Sales Leads are important for absolutely everybody.

Do you want to have a ground breaking mailing list database? Well...Martin Worldwide has one and updates it! They are located in Westlake Village, CA...a place I'm very familar with. They are one of the big time leaders in the industry of direct marketing. They have a great reputation...and they built it from offering innovative mailing list products. Their clients love it. Awesome!

They have ResponseCom...which is a potent, proprietary blend of U.S. Response and U.S. Consumer databases. It results in multi-dimensional database. And this database offer extremely versatile...and psychographic selects. Radical! The special synthesis of compiled and response data has created an unparalleled, powerful database that accurately identifies prospects with the most active, responsive, and impulsive buying history.

Things their clients have experienced due to all of this:

-higher response rates
-profitability
-new business opportunities

This is all according to Chip Matthews, who is the Client Relationship Manager for Martin Worldwide. He's a pimp. He is one reason they are one of the largest and most successful mailing list providers in the nation. Their customized mailing lists, telemarketing lists and fax lists to small business and Fortune 1000 clients are some of the best you will find. They will really help out your business, man. They have well over a decade of experience, knowledge, and database acquisition expertise, and it shows.

They literally have a database of over 290 million consumers, and 14 million U.S. businesses. And the date has guaranteed intergrity in the writing, yo. For more information you need to hit up Chip Matthews at the link above, dog!

Trott Felipe for President?

Yeah right, right? I know. It sounds like a dumb idea, but think about it...if for only a wasted second. Trott Felipe could change the history of men. He could learn at least one more language besides English...and actually talk to people in this country who don't speak English! Can you imagine how connected we would be as a nation? Trott Felipe would be in charge of that success. He would be the man. The hombre. The paison. The person. The President...of SAG. (not the thing you do with your jeans)

Trott Felipe Book Sells 2 Million in First Week

Trott Felipe is the man. And now, he has a book to prove it.

New York, CA (AP) -- In a move unprecedented in the history of men, Trott Felipe's book sold 2 million copies this week, all from a local midtown Manhattan newstand. Literally, 2 million people walked to this newstand and bought the book. Unbelievable. Why did they do that? I'll tell you why: because it's awesome. Duh, man.

Here is what you have to look forward to in the book: Trott Felipe, an idiot actor from Iowa who has no clue, yet has the drive to drive through it. Oh well. Also, it's funny.

Ehhh...I'm the fonts

Ever get bored by using the cliche font? Yeah? Well you should get some free fonts.

You need to check out UrbanFonts.com. They are a new Web 2.0 powered site. They have a wide range of both utilitarian...and...wait for it...winsome typefaces and...wait for it, again...dingbats for a variety of web-based AND desktop tasks! So spectacular! They don't only have fonts, but they have a user forum and social bookmarking! It's myspace-esque, dog. They even have smart articles that cover all aspects of Internet typography.

If a website is trying to be really, really creative, they need a font that matches their design. (New Courier just doesn't cut it sometimes.) But...finding the right font on a PC or Mac can be tough. Now this site has sources ready to download the fonts. Commercial fonts. Awesome. And they are living all up in the age, but having a font blog, message board and articles. So you can stock up on fonts, but also participate and learn the art and craft of typography.

What does a company spokesperson say? “Of course fonts may not be as exciting or as sexy as the latest in Flash technology, but they can be just as vital to the success of your web design, if not more so." True, company spokesperson. You bring up a good point. They continued, “Without the right fonts in place, even the best looking web site can be difficult to navigate and difficult for customers to use.”

The fonts are in a variety of categories. They are grouped by use, alphabetically, author and by popularity. That's a lot of organization for some fonts, man! There’s even a list of UrbanFonts favorite fonts. You can display them in custom colors or text, to make sure they would be right for your project. That way you can try-before-you-download. Good call. Some are serif fonts. Some are all types of fun and all types of style. Some even resemble foreign languages.

The dingbat section contains symbols to fit a wide variety of needs, from transportation and flowers to smilies and sports. Cool!

The blog is also very helpful in helping you find the correct blog to use and it links to current topics on typography around the internet. The messageboard is good for help with design and you can talk to other font fanatics. And of course, you can bookmark all the pages using popular social bookmarking services. Check them out if you need fonts!
Reinvigorate design and document design and visit UrbanFonts right now! Don't wait!

Nobody loves me

"Nobody loves me," says Trott. Nobody loves me. Listen to the words folks. Why would an international acting star like Trott say that? He's got the whole world in his hand's. (No, he doesn't think he is President.) But, why would he think that? Well...because the scam artists in Hollywood don't love him. They love his money, and his naivety, and the fact that he is clueless...but all of that is about to change.

I'm just a man, says Trott

I'm just a man, says Trott. I'm just a man like all of the rest of you. (Except the women.) I put my pants on one leg at a time. I walk. I talk. I eat. I sleep. I party. But the only difference is...when I wake up in the morning, and act my ass off as an actor, I'm the best. That's what seperates you and me, dog. I'm an actor. You're not. Case closed. Idiot.

Gold Prices are good

Right now, things are good, and so is the gold price.

Most people know that through Monex Deposit Company (or MDC) you can buy silver, gold and/or other precious metals and/or coins for personal delivery, immediately, or you can set up them for convenient/safe storage at an independent bank and/or depository. A lot of people know that...I think? Well...they should. The Monex companies have been America's gold, silver and precious metals investment leader for, like, 30 years, man! Silver is a thing worthy of investment. You can get it in coin or ingot form/shape. What are ingots? They are pure bullion cast, and in a convenient size and/or shape. Coins have currency value. Ingots define them. Now is the time to buy, bro. World demand for silver now exceeds annual production, and has every year since 1990.Now let's talk about gold. It too is available for investing in coin or ingot form. The same definitions apply for ingots and coins in this case. For centuries, buying gold has been recognized. It's one of the best ways to preserve one's wealth and purchasing power, yo. Ancient Egyptians, Greeks and Romans and all the way up to modern man has always loved gold bullion. You are an idiot if you don't. Gold is magic. But today, the beauty of gold, and it's bars, is how you can diversify your investments with it. You can preseve your purchasing power!!!The end of WWII was when the U.S. government (used to be the largest stockpiler of silver on the planet) has dumped billions upon billions of ounces of silver bars onto the world market. It's really affected depressing silver prices--which is good, because silver gets so down sometimes. Today, that government silver hoard is long gone. But, the government is now the silver buyer.

-American eagle gold coins are available in units of 10 one-ounce coins for personal delivery only. .9167 fine gold.

-Legal tender coin in the USA with a $50 face value.

-Available only for personal delivery in fractional sizes of ounce, ounce and 1/10 ounce, in units of 20 coins each.

Analysts agree: the time to buy gold is now. Monex prides itself on having the best us silver coin prices AND programs in the industry. There employees are hard asset professionals and are committed to serving your precious metals investment needs.

Trott walks to Taco Bell

Trott walked to Taco Bell in Sherman Oaks. It took him 2 days. He left from his Hollywood apartment behind In & Out Burger, and walked, and walked, and walked, like Forrest Gump, except without running. He wanted to know why there wasn't a Taco Bell closer to Hollywood. He wanted a chulupa. He wanted answers. Trott Felipe: He'll walk for 2 days to get a Taco Bell chulupa with mild sauce. Isn't that the type of person you want acting in your movies? Case Closed.

Trott doesn't know what he wants to do with his life

After the recent embarassment at the Arcolyte Theatre in Hollywood, Trott retreated to his bedroom (studio apartment) and cried...for 3 days. He cried more than it rained. He tried to take his tears and throw them outside, to contribute to the city of LA's lack of rain...but it was too late. The tears were already in the fibers of his shirt. Trott can't even succeed at crying these days. Yeah...looks like Trott is screwed. Oh well.

Digital Pocket Scales: no longer science fiction

You know what's pretty cool? Digital Pocket Scales. Don't they just sound cool, and high-techie? I know.

A little while back, there was a huge need for more quality weighing scales at a low price on the internet. So founder of ScalesEtc.com, Marilynn Ferguson, created the company to be reliable, accurate and discount priced. The digital scales sold there come in a variety of types and they satisfy any of your scale needs. They have assortment too. You can find 4 colors of the popular Palmscale 6.0. It's a digital pocket scale. Sounds cool? I know it does! They also have your classic kitchen, counting, bathroom and shipping scales. All of them are covered by a lifetime manufacturer's warranty, too! The My Weigh ones, that is. The Jennings scales, at least, have a long, 20-year warranty. Boombastic! Ms. Ferguson has 20+ years of retailing experience, and she infuses her passion for providing good service, good prices, and quality product all up in that reputation, and puts it out there. Check them out today! It's so awesome!

Trott Felipe spotted at the Arcolyte

Recently, meaning today, Trott Felipe was spotted at the Arcolyte Theatre, with a really hot, blonde, big-chested babe. Unfortunately, the spotter waited 1 minute to discover that the babe was just walking by Trott, and not with him. Trott was going to see Wild Hogs, by himself, at 5:45 p.m. on a Saturday. It sucks for him. His career has really gone down hill since he was last spotted at Ralph's Grocery Store on Sunset in Hollywood.

UPDATE: This just in, Trott left the movie crying.

Dear Hollwood, I'm going to Star Shoes

Dear Hollywood Everybody,

There is a place in Hollywood, on Hollywood Blvd., called Star Shoes. I'm going there tonight. I'm going to get drunk. You know why, man? Because somebody like me needs a good drink once in a while. I've got to live the life, even if I'm broke. Somebody like me can't just sit around, even if I should. I'm actually sick right now, but you know what? I'm still going out. I'm not slowing down. If I do that, it will be dumb. Very dumb. On my part. So instead I'm going out. I fill you in later on how it is. I'm sure it's going to be awesome though.

Sincerely,

Trott J. Felipe

Visit Puerto Vallarta. It's good for you.

When I think of paradise, I think of a puerto vallarta all inclusive. A trip there would be awesome. Don't you think so?

There is an awesome site launching soon that can help you do it. You can get savings up up to 50%. It's awesome. What is the site? VACATIONS.NET. The sweet leader in all-inclusive travel experiences. Their site will be redesigned with a customized booking engine and, get this, an intuitive (smart) functionality. Way better than it's competitors, bro. They did tons of research, and got tons of feedback from consumers and industry folk. This new site raises the hospitality bar. For sure. They are all about high-end, but also great rates and prices. And did I mention you can save 50%!? And more, man! What's on the site? There is detailed information on customs, culture, history and activities...with dramatic images accompanying them. The customer will know all about their destination. That's so awesome, man. The customized booking engine is freakin' smart...or "intuitive." The content makes you feel at home and the site is easy to use. It will take on the engine of any other site. It shows offers and percentages off promotions, discount regular rates and free nights programs. This means the packages have added value. But the site also offers all of these totally radical features:

• Compelling visual images & virtual tours

• In-depth information on the destinations including amenities & recreational activities

• Thorough information on accommodations with detailed room options

• All-Inclusive vacations sorted by vacation style and related preferences

• Resort ratings from travelers who have experienced the resort first-hand

• Hot Deals and much more…

You need to visit them today if you want to be awesome, or call 1-888-205-3315 for reservations and more info. They feature awesome locations like Dominican Republic, Jamaica, and Mexico! If you want to be in paradise, you need to check out there site. Today!

Trott Felipe spotted in Winnebago

In the strangest story of the spring...in Hollywood...Caliornia, Trott Felipe was spotted driving an old beat-up Winnebago down Sunset Blvd. Onlooker stared in horror as Trott posted for paparazzi...essentially ruining his career. "He looked like such a hippie nerd. It was really pathetic, " said one onlooker with fake breasts. Another broad with sunglasses said, "Even trendy hippied aren't cool right now. I don't know what that douche was thinking. What a sea bitchcuit."

Trott's response: Fuck you dames. Fuck you broads. I drives a Winnebago whenever the f (edited) I want.

Trott writes a letter to Hollywood

Dear Hollywood, CA,

I know that we had a great honeymoon, I know that things started off great and exciting and everything moved so fast that we thought things were perfect. I know I made a commitment....Alright...well...here's the deal...uhh...I maybe got just a little bit caught up in the moment...you see...it's not you, it's me. I know we've had our moments. But I was young and naive and just getting out of college when we met. I was ready to take any money thrown at me just to be able to survive and it's not that I don't appreciate what we had and what we have....but...I just think I'm not ready for a commitment at this time. I think we should see other cities/people. I know we have to live together and I don't want things to be awkward in the meantime. I mean, I know I'm still going to live here for who knows how long, but I just want you to know...there is somebody else...actually...a few somebody's... I've been seeing Scottsdale, Chicago, Bloomington, West Palm Beach, Miami....and a few other one night-stands with cities I can't even remember the names of. ...Come on now Hollywood, don't be upset. You and I both know that this is only a business arrangement like Michael Jackson & Lisa Marie, Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes or Tom Cruise & Rob Thomas.We are just too different. I mean - I'm DIFFERENT, but you...well you are just...hmmm...what's the expression...oh yeah - weird as shit. I mean, I even tried to dress like you to make things work, but it just wasn't me. The true me rejected your weird fashions like a bad heart. It worked for a while, but ultimately, I just can't live like that.So where does this leave us? Well...hmm..good question. The problem is, you still have some of my stuff at your place and also, I work for your Dad Los Angeles. I guess I'll continue working. Things may be a little bit strange from here on out, but I couldn't go on living a lie Hollywood, I had to let you know how I feel.

I'm midwestern at heart, got a little bit of western flavor and I'm only with you because I've got to work in a creative field and of all the "creative" fields I've tried, this one matches up the best. I just wish I didn't beat around the bush so long, trying to do what other people thought I should, instead of facing the reality of what I was inevitably going to fall into. That's life I guess though. I mean, when I was going out with Scottsdale (I know you don't like me to talk about my ex's), I was drinking all the time and actually believed I would be happy just getting any old job instead of pursuing my dreams. Damn. Oh well. Well...I guess the best thing to do would be for you to give me my shit back and we'll go from there...I'm sorry, but it has to be this way Hollywood. I'm sure, like most relationships, we will still hook up when we are drunk and not really officially break up until I find another (city). Damn, I really should have done a pre-nup.

Sincerely,

Yours Truly,

Best Wishes,

Congrats,

Get Well Soon,

B. Laesch IVXX

P.S. Maybe I'm just an idiot for even trying this whole thing...but I doubt it.

I like to party in O-town...not the band

Get ready for Orlando hotels.

You should want to spend Christmas, Spring Break, or even your summer vacation in an radical place? Right? Right? Orlando is it. Take a vacation. Do it there. Where else in the World are there 52 theme parks? And beaches within a 40 minute drive? Not to mention the outstanding, impeccable resorts and vacaton homes. They have it all in Orlando. Plastic City, baby! Sure, Disney World is their biggest attraction...but that's not all they have. Top rated golf courses too. And the second largest convention center in the whole wide world! Not to mention, again, that this place is so family friendly, you'll think you should buy a house here within 5 minutes off of the airplane or out of the minivan. And it's ever-changing. If you haven't been there in 3-5 years, you need to go back. It's changed, yo. The parks are always adding new rides and attractions too. These constant upgrades make Orlando an insanely, totally tubular destination for the entire family. So awesome, brah!

Bloggin' for Clippers

I’m not going to rate this video because…well…how do you rate something like this!? This is horrible, but I think it’s YouTube Roast!worthy. This is Los Angeles Clippers Point Guard/Shooting Guard/Probably Should Have Gone To College Shaun Livingston going up for a lay-up and dislocating his entire knee. This is very graphic; I’m warning you. If you are bulemic or trying to cure a hangover, then maybe this is the video for you. Otherwise, proceed with caution.

Get ready for me, dog

Uhhh….well…uhh…yeah, but…uhh…hmm. Well, the animation was cool. The strange, somewhat cheesy late 80’s video game music was “aight,” but…what exactly is this? I don’t know what I just watched. I feel like I’ve just been hypnotized to kill the Prime Minister of Malasyia at some point in the near future (totally hilarious Zoolander reference). Hmm. Can anybody figure it out? Leave a comment or hit us up at 1-800-YOUTUBEROASTDOTCOMISAWESOMEANDCOOL. Yeah, it’s a real number.

Phones 4 Yo Business

I like small business phone systems. Do you? Well...you should.

Are you a company looking to improve and explore new technologies, i.e. Voice Over IP (or VoIP)? You are? Radical! You know why? Because Xpander Communications specializes in this type of thing! Cool. They have the most user-friendly phone systems around. This is because they like simplicity. They reduce costs. And they reduced maintenance...big time. All scattered all over this great country of ours, small business can share the exact same phone system if they have branches in different locations. They can have private extensions. There is free 4-digit dialing between the branches, satellite, or home office locations! That's great for your company! They have unlimited free sere and support too! Not to mention improved long distance calling plans! Tubular! The benefits seem to be endless...and maybe they are!

Trott is the Mayne

I’m reserving this post for two of the best basketball clips this March Madness season has seen. What makes these clips even more maddening? The fact that neither of these comes from the NCAA Division I Men’s Basketball tournament–the tournament most linked with the term (although, the Illinois Boy’s High School tournament actually claims they originated the term). Nope. This first is the ending to the Men’s NCAA Division II championship game. Anthony Atkinson is sick, yo! If you even kind of like sports, watch this:

Check it

Check out The Doctor's blog Category: Blogging Funny stuff here, and updated a lot more frequently than my blog. Check out it. Hot babes/broads/chicks should especially check out The Doctor's blog. He says it's cool if kind of beat ones check it out too, but only if they put a bag over their head while reading the blog. How is that possible? I don't know...his rules, not mine. Peace!