MTV Sucks
MTV's new pathetic reality show entitled Why Cant I Be You? has been pulled off the air after over a dozen stalker cases linked to the show have been reported to the LAPD.
In one case, 18-year old nerd and movie theater employee Javier Garcia worships the ground that 18-year old Brett Rodriguez (star baseball player at his school) walks on. Brett agrees to show Javier how to be cool, and basically, how to live his life. The show seemed to go well and Brett (after being put on the spot by MTV) agreed that Javier could now hang out with his group of friends even after the show. Butimmediately after the show ended, Brett changed his number and ignored Javier at school. Bad idea. Javier began obsessing over Brett night and day, driving by his house late at night, going to all of his baseball games and practices and eventually legally changing his name to Bret Jackobsen to sound more like Bretts full name, Brett Jacobsen. Unfortunately, it didnt stop there. Bret (formerly known as Javier) got calf implants to look more like Brett, stating, Now Im the complete package. But apparently, not even Bret thought so, as he kept taking it one step further until people starting asking, How many steps can you call one step further?
Bret went on Bretts myspace profile and left him comments everyday. Except, instead of normal comments like Hey whats up? or Thanks for the add, Brets comment were more like, We are the same person , Do you want to plan out what clothes we are going to wear this week? and Did you enjoy that book you were reading as you fell asleep last night?
Bret even went as far as to download Bretts picture from his myspace profile, digitally enlarge it, print it out and wear it as a mask - everywhere he went.
It was at this point that Brett got a little bit scared and decided that even the $1,000 shut-up money MTV had paid him (albeit, a lot of money for high schoolers) was not enough and he contacted authorities to put a restraining order on Bret. Unfortunately, police became confused and thought Brett was placing a restraining order on himself. They immediately apprehended Brett for breaking the restraining order and being within 100-yards of himself. Luckily, after 2 days in jail, the mix-up was resolved and Brett was released. But the damage was already done. Bret (formerly Javier) cried all night like a little girl when he received the restraining order.
The sad part about all of this is that this is just one isolated case. There have been over a dozen of these cases in Los Angeles County alone since the airing of this show, says LAPD Police Chief Joe Wiggums. You just shouldnt be subjecting people to this kind of mental anguish. Its just not healthy. When I was a young officer, I always wanted to be Erik Estradabut now hes selling real estate in the-middle-of-nowhere Washington on infomercials. So obviously, that wasnt a good goal for my life.
Luckily, the show has been pulled off the air after I made this whole story up and told you its been pulled even though it hasnt.
But as one local homeless man in Hollywood put it, You got any change? Im starting my own business but the FBI is after me and took all my possessions. Do you see those spot in the air too?
In one case, 18-year old nerd and movie theater employee Javier Garcia worships the ground that 18-year old Brett Rodriguez (star baseball player at his school) walks on. Brett agrees to show Javier how to be cool, and basically, how to live his life. The show seemed to go well and Brett (after being put on the spot by MTV) agreed that Javier could now hang out with his group of friends even after the show. Butimmediately after the show ended, Brett changed his number and ignored Javier at school. Bad idea. Javier began obsessing over Brett night and day, driving by his house late at night, going to all of his baseball games and practices and eventually legally changing his name to Bret Jackobsen to sound more like Bretts full name, Brett Jacobsen. Unfortunately, it didnt stop there. Bret (formerly known as Javier) got calf implants to look more like Brett, stating, Now Im the complete package. But apparently, not even Bret thought so, as he kept taking it one step further until people starting asking, How many steps can you call one step further?
Bret went on Bretts myspace profile and left him comments everyday. Except, instead of normal comments like Hey whats up? or Thanks for the add, Brets comment were more like, We are the same person , Do you want to plan out what clothes we are going to wear this week? and Did you enjoy that book you were reading as you fell asleep last night?
Bret even went as far as to download Bretts picture from his myspace profile, digitally enlarge it, print it out and wear it as a mask - everywhere he went.
It was at this point that Brett got a little bit scared and decided that even the $1,000 shut-up money MTV had paid him (albeit, a lot of money for high schoolers) was not enough and he contacted authorities to put a restraining order on Bret. Unfortunately, police became confused and thought Brett was placing a restraining order on himself. They immediately apprehended Brett for breaking the restraining order and being within 100-yards of himself. Luckily, after 2 days in jail, the mix-up was resolved and Brett was released. But the damage was already done. Bret (formerly Javier) cried all night like a little girl when he received the restraining order.
The sad part about all of this is that this is just one isolated case. There have been over a dozen of these cases in Los Angeles County alone since the airing of this show, says LAPD Police Chief Joe Wiggums. You just shouldnt be subjecting people to this kind of mental anguish. Its just not healthy. When I was a young officer, I always wanted to be Erik Estradabut now hes selling real estate in the-middle-of-nowhere Washington on infomercials. So obviously, that wasnt a good goal for my life.
Luckily, the show has been pulled off the air after I made this whole story up and told you its been pulled even though it hasnt.
But as one local homeless man in Hollywood put it, You got any change? Im starting my own business but the FBI is after me and took all my possessions. Do you see those spot in the air too?
posted by BrianLaesch.com at 10:00 AM
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