Trott Thinks "Good Shepherd" Sucked
Gosh damn it did that suck!After a great Christmas morning and afternoon in West Palm Beach, FL, my family and I realized that it had been a pretty quick Christmas, as far as Christmases go in our family, so we all decided to be like, unprecendeted and see an evening movie.Our Top 3 choices (that none of us had seen)? The Good Shepherd, Rocky Balboa, Pursuit of Happyness.The vote winner? The Good Shepherd.The result? Horrible.What a piece of shit that ended up being. "The Godfather of CIA movies"? WTF??? More like the "Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot of CIA movies." Actually...not even that good.I'm pissed too because I was really, really excited about this movie. It takes a lot to get me excited about a movie, solely based off a trailer, and this one had accomplished it. Now, I see the trailer on TV and get pissed off that anybody could try to sell this movie the way they are and sleep at night. The only thing this film had to do with The Godfather is Robert De Niro and he was hardly in the film. He just directed it...unfortunately. (Sorry Bob, still a fan though.)I'm not even going to get into the negative light this film paints the CIA in, or the fact that Matt Damon basically gets raped by Angelina Jolie in it, or the fact that the story isn't really even based on facts at all.But I will give you a breakdown of the performances of all the BIG STARS in this film. They sell this thing as a star-studded blockbuster, yet half of the people they show in the trailer are barely in the film. And let's get this straight, nobody "stars" in this film. So without giving away the "plot" (I guess there is one.), here we go:
Robert De Niro: Directs the film and plays the role of some CIA dude in a wheelchair. He's barely in the film and doesn't seem to even fit the role. His role in "Meet The Parents" was way better.
Joe Pesci: Joe Pesci appears in this film for exactly 2 seconds and says the word "nigger," for no apparent reason, except to maybe feed off of some of the media buzz Michael Richards got. His character seemed like he could have been the most interesting in the film, yet I have no idea who he even is. Oh yeah, and he's Italian. It's a stretch.
Alec Baldwin: ??? Oh yeah...he was in the film. He plays an FBI guy who shows up every once in a while and acts like Alec Baldwin.
William Hurt: Pretty good performance, but he plays a criminal in the CIA basically. Hollywood portraying government officials as criminals? No way! That's revolutionary.
Angelina Jolie: I guess her performance is pretty good, but it doesn't help the film and she rapes Matt Damon and gets pregnant.
Matt Damon: The lead. I guess a pretty good performance as well, but not entertaining and for somebody in the CIA, he sure seems to be lead around by everybody in the world by one of those kid leashes. He also performs in a play, dressed in drag and singing like a girl. He immediately receives an offer to join the infamous "Skull & Bones" fraternity in his dressing room afterwards. It reminded me of Team America. Also, him dressing up like a girl and singing has nothing to do with his character, at all, for the rest of the film. He acts like a librarian the rest of the film.
So yeah. It sucked--and I don't use that word lightly. Also, the actor who plays Matt Damon's son is a really creepy pants pee-er and I think is actually older than Matt Damon. Trust me--it will all make sense when you don't see it.
Robert De Niro: Directs the film and plays the role of some CIA dude in a wheelchair. He's barely in the film and doesn't seem to even fit the role. His role in "Meet The Parents" was way better.
Joe Pesci: Joe Pesci appears in this film for exactly 2 seconds and says the word "nigger," for no apparent reason, except to maybe feed off of some of the media buzz Michael Richards got. His character seemed like he could have been the most interesting in the film, yet I have no idea who he even is. Oh yeah, and he's Italian. It's a stretch.
Alec Baldwin: ??? Oh yeah...he was in the film. He plays an FBI guy who shows up every once in a while and acts like Alec Baldwin.
William Hurt: Pretty good performance, but he plays a criminal in the CIA basically. Hollywood portraying government officials as criminals? No way! That's revolutionary.
Angelina Jolie: I guess her performance is pretty good, but it doesn't help the film and she rapes Matt Damon and gets pregnant.
Matt Damon: The lead. I guess a pretty good performance as well, but not entertaining and for somebody in the CIA, he sure seems to be lead around by everybody in the world by one of those kid leashes. He also performs in a play, dressed in drag and singing like a girl. He immediately receives an offer to join the infamous "Skull & Bones" fraternity in his dressing room afterwards. It reminded me of Team America. Also, him dressing up like a girl and singing has nothing to do with his character, at all, for the rest of the film. He acts like a librarian the rest of the film.
So yeah. It sucked--and I don't use that word lightly. Also, the actor who plays Matt Damon's son is a really creepy pants pee-er and I think is actually older than Matt Damon. Trust me--it will all make sense when you don't see it.
posted by BrianLaesch.com at 8:36 AM
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