Trott goes to Hawaii

Trott is all for the Hawaii Condo. Who isn't though?

You want to go to the HI? I do. I want to go to the HI. Well guess what? Gebhard Properties has a enw website! They are all about the Hawaii resort with ocean front vaction homes. You can rent on the Big Island and Maui!!! Not all vacation spots are the same, even in Hawaii. GP owns...and...manges these custom homes, homie. Exclusive locations is where they are at. Where are you at? You aren't going to find better amenities anywhere else. Here are just some of the things they have:


-spacious living areas
-custom furnishings
-artwork not found in even the finest of hotels

Isn't that sick? Peep the Hale Nani Loa Maka, our Kolea Villa. It's a 3BR/3BA penthouse located at the Waikoloa Beach Resort. It sleeps six and offers 2,576 square feet of living space. It practically owns the HI. It has it's own private elevator access and a gourmet kitchen and an extensive collection of Hawaiian art and an outstanding views of Anaeho'omalu Bay and Kileaua!

Or maybe you would prefer the Hale Ke Kai? Gosh, you are so pickey. Well...their luxurious 3BR/4BA two-level private home in Kailua-Kona will comfortably sleep up to eight people. It too has full-sized kitchens and expansive lanais on both levels, two master suites, a private wading pool, and a location so close to the ocean that a whale might piss on you! Awesome!

Not enough for you? OK. OK. Well..if you want a taste of Old Lahaina, then book a stay at their incredible 2BR/2BA corner-unit condo now! It's on the third floor of the Mahana at Kaanapali Resort in Maui. Radical! It runs parallel to the ocean (or sea).

Gebhart Properties arer there to give you the luxury, convenience and comfort that is rare nowadays. Browse their Hawaiian vacation homes and book today!

Trott on Vegas.COM?

This one dude hated on me in one of my blogs. You can see it. It's a few blogs down. Under "I Will Finally Be Putting Up Some New Videos Soon." He said I'm "full of myself." Apparently he doesn't understand sarcasm. He also basically threatened to beat me up. Not cool. I don't really get it, but according to his profile, he is running from the government. I agree, myspace, probably is a good place to do that. Maybe they will make a movie about him, The Fugitive 2: Frankie. The best quote from the movie will be:

Frankie: I didn't upload porn on to myspace!

Tommy Lee Jones: I don't care.

It's sad too because apparently he hails from the great state of Illinois, where I'm from. That's too bad. I don't want people like him in my state when I go back to visit.
It's ok though. He knows not what he do. Sometimes haters don't realize that hating really is a disease. The first step is admitting you have a problem.
It sucks, but it's the price I pay for myspace fame. What do I do though? I go out there, and find more proof of how awesome I am. Let me tell you a little story. A few weeks ago, I was in Vegas at a club called Pure.

Flash forward to tonight (with cool special effect): I'm sitting in work, when a co-worker comes in and tells me, "Hey, you're famous." I didn't know what she was talking about, but she told me that she saw me in an ad for Pure in the Las Vegas Weekly. I thought she was messing with me, but she found the picture online too. I couldn't believe it. Check out this link. Click on Pure and then you'll see one of the Gastineau Girls, click next a few times and I think you'll be amused haha.

Trott is better than K-Fed (duh)

This may be the understatement of the year because I'm pretty sure that my Grandma is a better rapper than K-Fed too but I just watched a video on TheSuperficial.com of him jamming to his new single "PopoZao." If you haven't seen it you need to check it out (after you read my blog of course). It is the funniest thing I have seen in the last 10 minutes.

I guess I can't really talk about his rapping because I can't understand any of it and I can't tell when it's him rapping or when it's his "background rappers/singers" because it is drowned out by an extremely obnoxious beat that even Britney herself wouldn't use.

I just don't understand it though. Does he really think that the beat, let alone the song, is tight? Or is he just acting that way in an attempt to at least sell a few copies and not totally flop? There has got to be some 13 year old girls somewhere that saw him in US Weekly and are dumb enough to buy his CD. He has to have some kind of a fan base since people are so "celebretarded" these days, but come on. Look at who the media is following around these days: Paris Hilton, Nicole Ritchie, Kevin Federline.... Not that this hasn't been said before but still... Are you kidding me? Are people that stupid that they would see somebody on TV and think they are awesome? The sad answer is...YES.

I know that I shouldn't be talking bad about somebody who's actually a friend of mine on myspace but come on....PopoZao? First of all, the name sounds like a carnival ride at the county fair, a place where K-Fed would probably be working if he hadn't had the good fortune of meeting a no class broad who fooled everybody into thinking that she was the next Madonna and got really rich doing it.

So here is what I propose: A rap battle between me and K-Fed. Winner gets Britney. Not that I really even want her...but I look more like Justin Timberlake anyway and she is probably regreting dumping JT for a guy who looks like Sawyer from the TV show Lost...without the somewhat cool bad boy image.

So that's where we stand. A rap-off. I think my last 2 rap videos alone prove I'm worthy. They were way better than PopZao and I freestyled them in one take. That's right folks. One take. Off the top of the dome yo. I didn't write shit. That's Jay-Z legendary ya'll. I'm fucking awesome. I just ran out in the street, took my shirt off, broke a Bud Light bottle, acted all roided-up and tried to fight a whole fraternity. Let's do this.

Gold Coins in the U.S. of A, man

Nobody really knows about us gold coins. We hungry.

Everybody knows that through Monex Deposit Company (or MDC) you can buy silver, gold and/or other precious metals and/or coins for personal delivery, immediately, or you can set up them for convenient/safe storage at an independent bank and/or depository. Everybody knows that...right? They don't? Well...they should.

The (and when I say "the," I mean "the") Monex companies have been America's gold, silver and precious metals investment leader for, like, 30 years, man! Silver is a thing worthy of investment. You can get it in coin or ingot form/shape. What are ingots? Do you really gots ta know? Hey-oh! They are pure bullion cast, and in a convenient size and/or shape. Coins have currency value. Ingots define them. Now is the time to buy, dog. World demand for silver now exceeds annual production, and has every year since 1990.

Now let's talk about gold. It too is available for investing in coin or ingot form. The same definitions apply for ingots and coins in this case. For centuries, buying gold has been recognized. It's one of the best ways to preserve one's wealth and purchasing power, yo. Ancient Egyptians, Greeks and Romans and all the way up to modern man has always loved gold bullion. You are an idiot if you don't. Gold is magic. But today, the beauty of gold, and it's bars, is how you can diversify your investments with it. You can preseve your purchasing power!!!

The end of WWII was when the U.S. government (used to be the largest stockpiler of silver on the planet) has dumped billions upon billions of ounces of silver bars onto the world market. It's really affected depressing silver prices--which is good, because silver gets so down sometimes. Today, that government silver hoard is long gone. But, the government is now the silver buyer.

-American eagle gold coins are available in units of 10 one-ounce coins for personal delivery only. .9167 fine gold.

-Legal tender coin in the USA with a $50 face value.

-Available only for personal delivery in fractional sizes of ounce, ounce and 1/10 ounce, in units of 20 coins each.

Analysts agree; the time to buy gold is now. Monex prides itself on having the best us silver coin prices AND programs in the industry. There employees are hard asset professionals and are committed to serving your precious metals investment needs. They are America's best/awesomest dealer.

MTV Sucks

MTV's new pathetic reality show entitled Why Cant I Be You? has been pulled off the air after over a dozen stalker cases linked to the show have been reported to the LAPD.

In one case, 18-year old nerd and movie theater employee Javier Garcia worships the ground that 18-year old Brett Rodriguez (star baseball player at his school) walks on. Brett agrees to show Javier how to be cool, and basically, how to live his life. The show seemed to go well and Brett (after being put on the spot by MTV) agreed that Javier could now hang out with his group of friends even after the show. Butimmediately after the show ended, Brett changed his number and ignored Javier at school. Bad idea. Javier began obsessing over Brett night and day, driving by his house late at night, going to all of his baseball games and practices and eventually legally changing his name to Bret Jackobsen to sound more like Bretts full name, Brett Jacobsen. Unfortunately, it didnt stop there. Bret (formerly known as Javier) got calf implants to look more like Brett, stating, Now Im the complete package. But apparently, not even Bret thought so, as he kept taking it one step further until people starting asking, How many steps can you call one step further?

Bret went on Bretts myspace profile and left him comments everyday. Except, instead of normal comments like Hey whats up? or Thanks for the add, Brets comment were more like, We are the same person , Do you want to plan out what clothes we are going to wear this week? and Did you enjoy that book you were reading as you fell asleep last night?

Bret even went as far as to download Bretts picture from his myspace profile, digitally enlarge it, print it out and wear it as a mask - everywhere he went.

It was at this point that Brett got a little bit scared and decided that even the $1,000 shut-up money MTV had paid him (albeit, a lot of money for high schoolers) was not enough and he contacted authorities to put a restraining order on Bret. Unfortunately, police became confused and thought Brett was placing a restraining order on himself. They immediately apprehended Brett for breaking the restraining order and being within 100-yards of himself. Luckily, after 2 days in jail, the mix-up was resolved and Brett was released. But the damage was already done. Bret (formerly Javier) cried all night like a little girl when he received the restraining order.

The sad part about all of this is that this is just one isolated case. There have been over a dozen of these cases in Los Angeles County alone since the airing of this show, says LAPD Police Chief Joe Wiggums. You just shouldnt be subjecting people to this kind of mental anguish. Its just not healthy. When I was a young officer, I always wanted to be Erik Estradabut now hes selling real estate in the-middle-of-nowhere Washington on infomercials. So obviously, that wasnt a good goal for my life.

Luckily, the show has been pulled off the air after I made this whole story up and told you its been pulled even though it hasnt.

But as one local homeless man in Hollywood put it, You got any change? Im starting my own business but the FBI is after me and took all my possessions. Do you see those spot in the air too?

Fitness Made Simple changed Trott's life

Fitness Made Simple changed my life. Really, it did. Before this exciting line of fitness videos existed, with a cartoon, Ken doll, fitness leader/host--I had no idea what to make fun of next. Now, thanks to Fitness Made Simple (FMS), I'm motivated again.

Before you read the rest of this blog, check out the lyrics of the Fitness Made Simple theme song:

He's John Basedow,
He's gonna show you how,
To reach your potential,
And turn your, whole life around!
It's Fitness Made Simple! (unh-hunh!)
Made for real people! (ooh yeah!)
It's changing real lives!

Dude, didn't that like, pump you up!? The first time I heard this theme song, I snorted eight lines of spinach, took a sake bomber in a protein shake, ran six marathons back-toback, lifted a car to save an ailing coyote, developed six-pack abs and banged twelve broads in twelve hours...that's right, half a day's worth of bangin' broads. If that's not a change in life, made for a real person, simply, I don't know what is.

Trott Felipe is single-handedly bringing creativity back to Hollywood. They just don't realize it yet. When they do, it will already be too late.

Link Popularity is popular

Do you know much about link popularity? Me too.

You've got to understand Google and other search engines, and all the options you have for increasing traffic and link pop. Google's algorithm is insane. They drive most results organically. They are much more complex than other search engines. They look at website's on-site factors and off-site factors, then they do their ranking. The offsite factors are roughly 35 to 45% of the importance to Google’s algorithm. Awesome!

Page rank isn't as big of a deal in Google's rankings as people think. It still matters, but since you can manipulate that shit, Google doesn't focus on it as much. They focus on links from other sites, going to your site. It's much better getting good links from sites with good page rank. The quality of the page that the link is on relative to your website and/or page it is directed to is very important. People forget that, and it's radical. And Google even looks at the link and where it's placed. If it's in the context, it's much better than if it's at the bottom of the page. Google also looks at the text that surrounds the link and determines how targeted that text is compared to the page that the link points to. Damn yo, maybe I should have paid attention in math class instead of writing freestyle raps.

Some other things they consider and look at, Title Tag, H1 Tags and other META data. You better keep that shit in mind honky. Latent Symantec Indexing is also a new thing being tested. It determines how words relate to each other. Pretty crazy right? The factors that LSI looks at are the Title Tag and the textual content of the page that your link is on. What it all boils down to, is the most important thing is getting people to link to your site. The more the better. Mainly, people explore press release distribution, purchasing links from link brokers, reciprocal linking and link baiting. What they realize is, Press release distribution is the best way but it's also the most difficult because your press release can't be non-attention-grabbing (probably not correct usage of that). It has to draw people in. You can purchase links from link brokers. But you may get bullshit links doing that, at the bottom of the page.

Exchanging links used to be a good way, but now, it's not really. It's not as big of a deal. Link baiting is good, but very difficult as well. With link baiting, you hunt out links, and bring the links to you through unique, popular site content. It's like, the natural way to do it. But, as we have seen with Web 2.0 so far, the best way to increase link popularity is through Blogs. It just is. They are naturally filled with good content, and you can talk about the links in the posts. If a blog links to something you are talking about on your site, you are set. You would need thousands of these to make a difference in your rankings, but this is how it would work. You need links from hundreds or even thousands of Blogs with the same concept and then you will see significant improvements in your rankings and the more popular the word, the more linking you will need. You can't do this yourself, unless you create hundreds and thousands of blogs, which would be insane and not work very well.That's why we have Blogitive though. They have more than 2000 blogs in their network. You can release a mini-press release through Blogitive and bloggers will get paid to write about it. It will definitely help with traffic. Check it out

Trott Felipe--In Love With Strife

That title doesn't really mean anything. It was a play on words (or wordplay) that Trott Felipe used to get your attention (or grab it). Trott calls it an "attention grabber." He coined the phrase (or term). Get it? (Or not?) We do. (Do you?) No? (Yes.)

Oh well. (Who gives a shit?)

Get ready for Trott style baby! (Trott's style, in his mind. He's really a loser.)

Trott Felipe Worried About The Bulls

They did. They were tied at least, but, not anymore. Nope. They messed that up. The freakin' Pistons keep winning. Damn it. Chris Webber's first Finals appearance this season? I sure hope not. The Bulls need Gasol. But...I don't think they should give anybody up. They definitely shouldn't give up Gordon, Deng or Hinrich. Shit. And Noce is a huge piece as well. What can they do? Who freakin' knows...but they need him, or a big man who can score. The New York Knicks keep winning. Shit.

Charles Brown dog!

Dog, peep charles brown dds pc!

I ain't talkin' about farmers...but Hayfield Dental Care is the ish. They have been serving residents of Alexandria (and surrounding areas) since...duh-duh-duh: 1987! Sick! They have dentists who have gotten advanced OR specialty training. What does that mean? They can perform almost any procedure!!! (without another office's referral). They got mad experience yo. Who is the man there? Charles Brown...DDS! He has been there 10 years mayne! He has done millions...well, maybe thousands of crown, root canal and surgical procedures dog. That's with a perfect record. The Virgina Board of Dentistry is happy with this dude. No complaints. He graduated from the Medical College of Virginia and has received numerous awards.

He got the Academic Achievement Award. He was ranked 1st in hi class in 96! That's only 10 years ago!!! (11) And in '97, he got the Quality Care Award and Resident of the Year! He's already listed as one of the regions top dentists. By who? Oh...just the Washington Area Consumer Council (WACC)...that's all. Bam! Yes, Kevin McCallister...he is a member of the ADA. Hook it up at hayfield dog.

Awesome eBay

I recently received a copy of 'NCAA College Hoops 2K6,' a game for my Xbox 360 that I bought off eBay. We all know that I'm really cool because I like basketball and play it very well. We all know that I'm cool because I have an Xbox 360. That's not the point of this story, although I do want to name drop as many cool material possessions and facts about my life on the internet as possible to make myself seem even cooler then I am.
The point of all of this though, is that I bought it from a guy who is in the military, on a base in Germany. It was sent through military mail, and he even put a $5 bill in the package because he couldn't find the booklet (which I didn't even care about)...but the coolest part...the most awesomest, sickest, radicalist, gnarliest part about it, was that he wrapped the game in a fresh copy of a newspaper from Germany that was from the day Italy won the World Cup. There was a picture of the team holding up the trophy and then of course, the whole thing was in German.
This was the coolest thing for me, because, in my current state of...well life, I don't get to travel abroad and it's something I desperately want and need to do. So this, was the closest thing I've had to traveling abroad since I went to Spain the Summer before my Junior year at ASU and got freakin wasted, saw the sites, the girls, ate tapas and took siestas in the mornings. Oh yeah...and learned some Spanish.
So in closing, I'd like to restate the title in a different order: The Coolest thing bought off eBay ever, I've.
Disappointing side note to the story: There was an article about Paris Hilton in what I guess was the German newspaper's entertainment section. I thought they just liked David Hasselhoff. Weird.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this riveting story. If you are stupid, transcripts of this blog can be purchased by sending me $50 through paypal. If not, you can just hit "Print."

Trott's Rendezvous (Not Really)

In the latest issue of GQ, I found out about this insane film, "Rendezvous," by french filmmaker Claude Lelouch in which he drives at speeds up to 130 miles per hour through basically all of Paris in less than 9 minutes, running red lights, almost hitting pedestrians and basically with a death wish, giving you a complete tour of the tourist sites, albeit a blurry one. It's a very simple idea, but it's incredible to see. Definitely not something to try at home, but something to watch the grainy version of on YouTube, or to find a more, clear bootleg copy of somewhere on the streets.

Trott Spotted at Circuit City

Trott was spotted at circuit city this weekend.

Want to save big money and get cach back...whenever you shop online? Then you need to know about Ebates. If you become a member with them, and shop with them, you can seriously save THOUSANDS on stuff you are already buying man. And you can do it by following three, very easy steps:

1. You need an e-mail address (easy).

2. Membership is free.

3. Always return to Ebates when you shop online, or download the Moe Money Maker (Moe will remind you.)

You'll freakin' get 25% Cash Back on your purchases! ...and the best coupons and specials on the internet (web). They even get sales commission from their partners. Dogtastic! A lot of sites (lame ones) keep that money. Not Ebates yo. They turn your cash discount into a check and mail it to you! That's straight cash into the bank for you homie. Why pay full retail dog? Ebates gives you cash back at Circuit City. That's up to 25% at more than 800 popular stores! Even CNN is freakin' calling the use of Ebates "A No-Brainer"! Use Ebates dude. You'll never pay retail again man.

Trott Felipe Walks Into a Bar...

...and drinks 8 shots of whiskey, 3 shots of patron, 10 shots of heineken, and 3 Sakes on the rocks.

Guess what happened?

He died.

Just kidding. He did get alcohol poisoning though. He also threw up, a lot.

Guess what happened the next day? He had a job interview! He totally bombed it. What an idiot. But he still got the job. How? He was interviewing to be a gypsy. Trott though they said gynocologist. What an idiot! The gypsy woman still let him examine her though. Weird. Trott starts work tomorrow. Wish him luck!

Trott's Book

Are you ready for Trott's new book? I don't even know if Trott is...but it's coming. The Verge of Psychosis: An Aspiring Actor's Journal is on it's way folks. It's unfortunate that this blog sucks now. But hey, if you go back and read the first entries from this blog, you'll see the beginning of this creation.

This book is going to be so sick. It's so sick, that I don't even know what to say about it. It's going to be like a girl eating a pickle or lollipop, naked. How does that make sense? I don't know, but it would be cool, in a weird, as if you wouldn't rather be hooking up with her, type of way. Oh well. I'll figure it out and get back to you.